The Louisiana Social Pledge

We pledge our allegiance to Louisiana. We will embrace what makes us and our state unique. Louisiana will be recognized as a leader and innovator of the New South. Many great leaders of the future will come from this state. And we will show both the media and politicians that we are smarter than them. We will no longer have our resources exhausted and our people used and left behind. We will work hard and play hard. We will protect each other. We will support each other. We pledge that we will do whatever we can to get these things in motion right now. We will no longer wait for a path to be cleared for us. We will clear the path ourselves. And we ain’t giving up easily. We will socialize in the real world just as well as we do on the internet…in hopes to organize ourselves effectively.

Saturday, August 3, 2013

If Lies Were Liquids (Samuel Jones- Bastrop, LA)

If lies were liquids,
I would send all the Liars to Sudan.
With dark hands cupped in front of their faces,
I would ask all the Liars, "How are you doing today?"
"Fine.  . ." the Liars would reply
Followed up by water gushing from their mouths.

I separate the people married to women
And I pull out their wives:
"Does she look fat in this?" I point
As I have the wives pose in intentionally undersized clothing.
"Of course not!"
Now buckets replace those dark hands.

Eventually, I 'll just tell all the men,
"Describe your penis."
At that point I will be able to attach plumbing to their mouths to start a tap.
Consequently, every hut will have individualized access to infinite fresh water.
But of course this supply is backed up
By the amount of women I'll poll regarding their number of casual sex partners.

Sudan will never be dry again!

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