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I Feel A Fire In My Hands (James Leland Ludeau III-Lafayette, LA)

you see this boy in front of you
and i say boy because i believe i still am
i'm growing

learning
changing
i'm a slow bloomer
but it's coming to life
i felt wronged by my childhood
i felt that life isn't fair
i wore the victim hat
but something shifted
and i've met people who had fathers who abused them
and i felt lucky
i felt that not having my dad was in a way a gift
it inspired me to write and paint and draw
i looked for many ways to fill the hole in my life
i don't feel like the others around me
i feel different
i'm oversensitive to things
i wear my heart on my sleeve
but you have to look past the exterior to see it
but i feel it all crumbling
i get a change weekly to stand in front of an audience and share my writings
share my feelings
i get to feel an exchange of energy
a connection
and i also get to hear what others have gone through
and it makes me realize that we are all surviving this life
and that happiness is not something to obtain
happiness is something that we construct ourselves
choosing to see things in a different light can change your whole experience
one candle can light a whole stadium
and i feel surrounded my light
i feel a fire in my hands
a desire to write and share and heal

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