Skip to main content

My Lament: Die Another Day (James Leland Ludeau III-Lafayette, LA)

i wanted the good life never signed up for an easy ride i strived to earn it all my place in this world never one who played his hand in love it ate me up like a cancer killing the joy of my soul instead i longed to feel the sun on my face i longed for the days that i felt free i longed for home and his arms were so empty once they crumbled into dust my fucked up version of love and my ideal of lust i longed a father figure it figures that i'd search my whole life trying to fill a void not realizing that i am whole not defined by time or space i go round and round just like a circle i can see a clearer picture what i want is to live forever when i touch the ground i come full circle to my place and i am home not beneath the earth like him full of regret and worms not void of energy not lacking of warmth i saw him fade away and i don't want any part of that i know i have to let go of the past it didn't last but memory sometimes plays with my mind i remember him as being kind can't kiss him goodbye but i promise to try this life i live this air i breathe for his death for which i grief i wear this smile upon my face my heart filled with grace guess i'll die another day


Popular posts from this blog

This Little White Boy Who Wanted Some Nigger In Him (James Leland Ludeau III - Lafayette, LA)

Grew up on a plantation
Secluded from the world
I knew classes but didn’t understand race
Because what raced through my veins wasn’t something of which I could ever speak
My father could fuck the slave girls
But I couldn’t touch the men
It filled me with resentment
Fueled my resentment with lust
Until it was too much to take
It was a small contained community
White as the cotton in the fields
Only dark around the edges where the black men lived
Ploughing the fields
I’d imagine them ploughing me
Glistening with sweat as the sun bathed their shoulders
The sweat running down until it pooled around the waistband of their thin cotton pants
Their skin
Black, almost indigo, like night
Some like coffee with milk in it
Cafe au lait
I could smell their musk
Watched as their muscly bodies worked
I yearned
This little white boy who wanted some nigger in him
To fall beneath the weight of one
As he heaved
As he forced his throbbing cock into my crevice
I longed for even the pa…

God Will Cry (Louis Toliver Jr - Swartz, LA)

This is your soul trying to connect to you for last the time. We have come to the final crossroad in our life. This is the end. These are our last earthly breaths.
From this abuse of yourself, we will both die. You will be a rotting corpse. I will fade away into Darkness. People may mourn your death, at first, but you will be forgotten, while I am left here molested by the hands of Hell.
God will cry, “My child didn’t fulfill her purpose.”
I’m begging you; don’t do this. It has been a slow ride, a slow descent to suicide.

"I Love You" is Enough (Louis Toliver Jr)

Please don’t stress I see what you do all year Everyday you show me Through your actions How much you care for me But please don’t stress It’s not money or possessions That make me give my life to you It’s the moments that are small When people don’t care to look That you show your love most So don’t stress to demonstrate What you already know you do Just say “I love you” and… My underwear will come off for you