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The Disciple Rejects/ 2. "Searching for Judas" (James Leland Ludeau & Louis Toliver jr)


Peter began calling each disciples name almost ceremoniously, “Brother, Andrew.” He recorded who was present in his personal diary. Being Jesus’s secretary, he always kept his diary with him.

“Here, brother,” Andrew replied affectionately and suspiciously. Andrew was always suspicious of Peter, but loved him.

Peter looked up briefly as affectionately as he could. He loved Andrew but kept him close because he didn’t trust him. Peter was focused on himself and figuring out where Judas was. “James,” Peter continued.

Here,” both Jameses responded somberly.

Peter didn’t distinguish between the two, though he was much closer to James the Greater. He never asked James the Lesser’s opinion on anything. “John,” Peter continued.

“Here,” John responded. John, with James the Greater and Andrew, formed Peter’s inner circle.

“Philip,” Peter continued. His tone is calling seemed to change into something less affectionate.

“Here,” Philip responded drawing in his own diary, half-interested in the congregation. He was trying to sketch an image of Jesus being crucified. He couldn’t get the suffering out of his mind.

“Bartholomew,” Peter continued.

Bartholomew was falling asleep Philip quickly nudged him. He woke and responded, “Here!”

“Levi,” Peter continued. Something compelled him to say this purposely. It seemed wrong, but Peter liked it.

“Matthew,” Matthew responded with slight attitude.

“Yes, Matthew, I wasn’t thinking. I forgot you changed your name.” Peter always felt Matthew was a rebel and it annoyed him.

“It’s been my name since Jesus renamed me, Simon…I mean Peter,” Matthew gave slight attitude

Peter ignored Matthew and called, Simon and Jude and they responded. Then he called, “Thomas.”

“Thomas isn’t here. You can see that, brother,” Andrew interrupted any opportunity for silence.

“Where is he?” Peter surveillance the room, looking up from his diary for the first time. Everyone was silent. “Well, I need to now where Thomas is. We also need to figure out where Judas is before anyone else in this town does.”

“What good is finding Judas going to do?” Philip never stopped sketching as he asked the question.

“Well, young Philip, Judas needs to be held accountable for his actions. He betrayed Jesus

“You denied Jesus, three times,” Matthew added.

“I didn’t kill him.” Peter angrily replied.

“Neither did Judas,” Matthew grinned.

“Am I the only one that is not concerned with punishing someone? Jesus allowed this to happen. He wanted this.” Philip tore out the sketch from his diary and slapped it on the table for everyone to see. “Jesus, put himself on the cross.”

There was long silence. It was enough silence for Bartholomew to began nodding off to sleep again. No one was paying attention to him of course.

Peter spoke through his teeth with the fierceness of a dragon. “Find Thomas, Philip. The rest of us will look for Judas

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