Skip to main content

Two Virgins Doesn’t (Necessarily) Make a Right (Louis Toliver Jr - Swartz, LA)

Here they were, Ben and Amy, on their wedding night. Both at the ripe age of 33.

As they had been told by others it was best to do, both saved their private parts, (Ben’s penis & Amy’s vagina) from being seen until this ripe age of 33. They never really understood why, but both assumed God didn’t like those who had any sexual experience (at least that’s what they were told).

As they lay in bed together, both naked. Ben looked at Amy. Amy looked at Ben. “So, what do we do?” They said at the same time. “I don’t know,” they both said at the same time.

“I’ve waited since I was a teenager for this, Amy.” Ben assured.
“I’ve only dreamed of this night, Ben.”  Amy professed.

Then the questions followed:
“Do you have a condom?”
“Do married people need one?”
-I don’t know.
“Did you learn anything about sex in school?”
“Did you learn anything about sex in church”
-Heck no.
“Let’s just try, okay?”

Ben took his penis and tried to enter it into Amy’s ear. It would not go in. Then, Amy took her vagina and tried to place Ben’s toes inside. It did not feel right.  And so, this tragedy ended, as they both lay in bed, as their wedding night turned into the rest of their lives, neither knowing what to do. And they lived unhappily sexually frustrated, forever.



Popular posts from this blog

INTRODUCING HEADLINER: Through the Tears (Steve Duhon - Carencro, LA)

When I find myself alone in the pain. When I feel like I have absolutely no one to turn to. When I wish the hurt would stop. When I don't know what to do. When I feel completely lost. When my eyes just won't stop welling up. When I don't want to bother anyone with my hurt, my pain. When I know that everyone has other responsibilities. I don't want to interrupt them with my hurt. When I have thought about all of the ways to make the hurt stop. When I am tired of putting on my strong face for others to see. When I am tired of the tears welling up, filling already soggy eyes. When I am tired of the tears, tears that roll non-stop over my cheeks. When I don't want to hurt the ones that I love the most. When it seems like those who are supposed to love me don't get who I am. When no one has any idea of the pain my smile hides. When I am worried about being forever labeled by others. When I am the one that everyone counts on for strength. When I never show any weak…

Louisiana Words All-Time Top 10 (as of 2020)

Laissez Les Bon Temp Rouler!: 1.4 - Mardi Gras Countdown