Why do I find myself here again? I have an idea of why but scared to admit it. I’ve been suppressing it for years. Now that other things have built up, it isn’t as easy to shove deep below the surface. I feel myself careening out of control, spiraling toward the depth that may not be overcome. My substance abuse has gotten to a point that recognizing myself is getting more and more difficult. Changing ways of administration has contributed, if not propelled, this descent. I try my best not to face things that are difficult emotionally. I know I’m avoidant…it is something I hate to admit. There’s been things lately that have piled up…everything with mama, Mary moving out, the lease here coming to an end, Mawmaw’s health…it all has become too much to deal with so I don’t deal with it and instead cover the pain with my addiction. I guess I should touch on each of the situations… First and one of the hardest things for me is ...
The flower sits before the tree, it is like an antagonist of nature. The rainbows fall against the clouds: colors burst into a buffet of light. Rain travels down into a puddle of water portraying the sight of an ugly ox. The strength is weak; it collapses to the ground, life flows out like a stream of consciousness. Back to the daisy and the overpowering oak, A lightning bolt strikes both. The war fades over, the mist evaporates, and sunshine gli mmers down upon a hidden valley.