It’s our anniversary. September first, we met in a garden
filled with flowers. She comes
every year, holding a bouquet of forget-me-nots, as if that will ever replace
her memory of me. She always seems
to blame me for the way the ceremony caused her life to change. Asking me to
ask God why He couldn’t wait one more day. The loneliness is unbearable she says,
the crying tiring, the questions always unanswered. The solid marble between us never quite stifles her sobs.
She cries and she accuses me of stealing her most precious possession, her rock,
her reason for breathing. She always addresses me as father, daddy, or dad.
Never realizing that the answers she seeks have already been given in the
silences between her mourning. This woman, this girl, who carries her grief
bottled up year after year, is my anticipation. For when I feel her warm fingers trace the curves of my
outer shell, and her soft lips kiss my marbled face, I feel worthy. We both know that we can’t keep meeting
like this, but for now we are each others’ surcease. I am the keeper of that
whom she loved most in world, and she is my only companion in this life that is
not a life at all. Today she seems that much closer to ending her journey’s to
my garden. So I listen to her cries, the melodies in her voice, absorbing them
with my entire being. I was born to hold that which has died, in order that the
living may call to them in peace. I memorize the light brush of her fingertips
against my outer shell, and immortalize the kiss that seals her pain, her love,
her hope, and her grief. I seal it inside of me and hope that the God she
serves delivers it for her.
“Lunacy” comes from the moon, Who cycles through brilliance and darkness Bipolarity’s patterns are not so easily assumed Opposites not so well harnessed Who cycles through brilliance and darkness? The girl who sits in bed, wrestling with Opposites. Not so well harnessed As she thought, her brain gives reason the slip The girl who sits in bed, wrestling with Her body, depressed, her thoughts manic. As she thought, her brain gave reason the slip And gives the gift of life in a dreamlike panic. Her body depressed her thoughts. Manic Lunacy comes from the moon And gives the gift of life in a dreamlike panic Bipolarity’s patterns are not so easily assumed
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