Her name was Eunice Brewer and her
ideal man was 5’10, blue eyes, brown hair, a man with an okay singing voice, a
man with a sense of accomplishment, a man who wasn’t afraid of work, strong
hands, a hearty eater, someone who enjoyed her cooking, which was good country
style home cooking, a man that was respectful, someone that would like to
cuddle at night.
Eunice
read over the copy of her Perfect Match profile sheet one more time and put it
down on the dining table. She was patiently waiting for Charlie, the mailman,
to arrive with her new match. Perfect Match was a dating service in the city
that had taken interest in rural areas. Eunice was leaving the grocery store
when a woman with zebra hair, as Eunice like to call it, approached her before
she got to her Buick.
“Ma’am
would you like one of our flyers?,” the woman was heavily tanned and looked
like a short, skinny, wax candle with zebra hair, as Eunice liked to think it.
“Start your new year off right! We can help you find the perfect match!”
Eunice
tucked her grocery bag of fresh black-eyed peas and cabbage under one arm. She
grabbed the flyer and look at it closely. It was a yellow paper with bold
writing that said “Perfect Match Dating Service” and then in small lettering it
continued, “We are a dating service located in the city and looking to expand
to surrounding areas. If we can’t find you a proper match the first time, we’ll
keep on trying ‘til we do. ‘Cause no one’s perfect.” Eunice read over the flyer
a few more times and then looking at the young woman who, because of the
sunlight shining brightly, now looked
like a glowing, short, funny-dressed, wax candle. Eunice didn’t understand how
a person could be so tan in the winter time.
“So,
you could find me a date?
“Yes,
ma’am.”
“All
the way out here in Hill?”
“Yes,
ma’am.”
So,
here was Eunice a sixty year-old woman living in the very small town of Hill,
named for a mound of dirt near the grocery store in a rented duplex home along
the highway. Waiting for her third letter from the service. The first match she
received matched her with a man, named Jeffrey Lipton. He lived 49 miles away
in Bolan. That was too far. He was half blind and Eunice never left Hill. Then
the second match was closer. Henry Gumm. He lived only 4 miles away in Dillard,
but he smelled bad when came over to meet. And at some point he took off one of
his shoes to massage his feet because of a fungus he got. He also never cracked
a smile. Eunice picked up the paper and read the line “If we can’t find you a
proper match the first time, we’ll keep trying ‘til we do.” She groaned and put
the letter down again. For $2000, this was a lousy service. But it was the
easiest thing to do. She could never meet anyone on her own. What else could
she do?
Eunice
was a simple woman. She had lived in Hill her whole life. The town was her
place and she knew it well. In Eunice’s home, there was a gas stove. But she
did have electricity of course. And there were times she would laugh because
she thought the rabbit ears on her television made it look like an alien head.
She didn’t have cable and she didn’t have internet. That was not her world. She
didn’t need it. Eunice loved to cook and clean. She did it all day. She spent
so much time in the kitchen that she even bought a small mirror refrigerator
magnet. It was so she could see herself and touch herself up when necessary in
the kitchen. Eunice did not leave the kitchen or dining room until she was
tired, very tired. She could make it up until midnight most nights, but she was
up as soon as dawn cracked. Eunice did not like being in the back of home, the
bedroom. Not since her husband died.
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