Mama squeezed my hands
tight when she kissed my
soft cheek as the screech
of the school bus brakes
filled the street.
“I hope you’re ready” she said,
hiding her watering eyes
with her smile.
***
Years later we drove
to the land of loop
the loops and surprise.
I watched people take
on the skies.
“I think I’m ready,” I said
to Dad as we reached the front
of the line.
***
Then there was that night
he first undressed me.
I was only seventeen.
He did not ask me.
I thought I needed him to
set me free.
“I know I’m ready,” I thought
as I let my deep desires
unravel.
***
The unfamiliar
white room spoke to me.
Hushed cacophony.
She was frail and weak.
It haunts me.
“I am not ready,” I sighed,
to say my final goodbye.
It’s not time.
***
Now, the hourglass
runs dry, and I can’t
comprehend just why
we must all subside.
We’re confined.
“I hope I’m ready,” I cry.
I fear to die. It’s simply
unsurmised.
***
I hope I’m ready
when it’s time to cease.
I want to believe
the irony that
release is peace.
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