I want to die on my one hundredth
birthday
In spectacular fashion
A manner in which the world will awe
Obliterated by a laser
Shot from outer space
While I am trekking through the desert
Sliced in half in battle
As I am apprehending
A notorious serial killer
Floating in the ocean
On an inflatable mermaid raft
As the world’s largest whale breaches
And swallows me whole
(Raft and all, though the raft is later expelled)
Spontaneously combusting
Into stardust and fireworks
As I blow out my candles
Launched from the peak
Of Kilimanjaro
By the nasty kick of a rude mountain goat
Collapsing into a puddle
Before being evaporated into a cloud
And rained down over Mardi Gras
Fantastically imploded
Attempting a true witch’s hex
Summoning a demon
Who carries me to hell
Whatever form my death takes
I want it to be witnessed and mythologized
By people who love and hate me alike
In conflicting stories
Of my magnificence and insufferability
To become folklore
Urban legend
Cautionary or tall tale…
Drowning in the night sky
Speckled with glittering sand
The old woman laughed
At her spectacular death
In spectacular fashion
A manner in which the world will awe
Obliterated by a laser
Shot from outer space
While I am trekking through the desert
Sliced in half in battle
As I am apprehending
A notorious serial killer
Floating in the ocean
On an inflatable mermaid raft
As the world’s largest whale breaches
And swallows me whole
(Raft and all, though the raft is later expelled)
Spontaneously combusting
Into stardust and fireworks
As I blow out my candles
Launched from the peak
Of Kilimanjaro
By the nasty kick of a rude mountain goat
Collapsing into a puddle
Before being evaporated into a cloud
And rained down over Mardi Gras
Fantastically imploded
Attempting a true witch’s hex
Summoning a demon
Who carries me to hell
Whatever form my death takes
I want it to be witnessed and mythologized
By people who love and hate me alike
In conflicting stories
Of my magnificence and insufferability
To become folklore
Urban legend
Cautionary or tall tale…
Drowning in the night sky
Speckled with glittering sand
The old woman laughed
At her spectacular death
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