i fell in love with you
burning hot like coals
beneath my skin l
ighting up my being
i laid on the altar
i was altered
i cared less about me
and more about you
for the first time in my life
i faced giving up
I faced sacrifice
i felt like the lamb sacrificial slaughtered
and if i fed you
it was ok
i only wanted you to be nourished
i gave of myself
but your love was a gunshot to my head
left me limp lifeless
changed
sacrificed
but my soul retreated
refused to be beaten
and this spirit in me grew
white heat
LIGHT
i forgive you for sacrificing me
i served a purpose
but now it pours out of my skin
like light like a candle
a lantern
i want to shine upon the dark path
and show you what transformation feels
like that you can come out of any situation
no matter how bad
no matter how dark
illuminated filled with Light
so bask in my glory
it's my new purpose
and if i sacrifice my light
it only grows
the spark never dies

candles in half circle leaves underfoot incense burns and wafts above night sky looks downward, casts light of star and shadow of moon shed clothes lay crumpled in dark grass skin gleams and glows in light of candle and smoke of incense blessing sage drifts and billows around tapers music entwines with heart and soul and dancing feet bare body leaps and twirls and pushes through the darkness alive floral scarves float and twist and dance around the limbs running ever sunwise, ever gathering, ever drumming energy washes over sense and time and spirit air fire water earth together, grounded, connected, enmeshed feet pound through nature's floor and hands rise towards goddess skies heart opens to raised flowing energies words spit of devotion and peace and healing lips adulate the oneness of all inner flower unfolds to receive blessings of goddess all this is for good all this is for peace all this is for well-being As Above, So Below Blessed Mote We Be

I passed away. It was a journey through the light but my grandmother was waiting singing a poem much like a song: 
All souls unite  Into God’s light 
May the sun burn bright  May energy be my might 
There’s no need to fear the night  There’s no longer a need to fight ...
My grandmother grabbed me from the light. She was standing on a mist like dust. It was made of rock, sand, silver, gold...every particle and element you can imagine. 
I was very young when she passed away. I really didn’t remember here on Earth, but I knew who she was immediately feeling her aura. 
She spoke with a voice as soft as cotton, “I’ve been waiting. Now come and take a walk with me. It’ll be just a short time to us when everyone else gets here.”
“Is this heaven?” I was afraid to ask. I’d have to face my mortality and my immortality. 
My grandmother laughed, “No, angel, but we’re not far.”
“What is it?” I was hoping it was heaven.
“The waiting room.” She led me away from the light on top of the divine mist. She began sing…

I been living my life all wrong.
Looking at my past I see it’s time to make some changes.
All these years I been doing things wrong.
Baby when I think of you and me I can’t wait to see changes.
Changes that will bring us closer
Closer in miles and closer to your heart,
It’s time I start doing things right
After all these years I been doing myself wrong.
It’s time I start doing me right.
After all the days I’ve been gone,
I need to make time to do you right.
One night at a time, one day at a time,
One memory at a time, it’s time to do us right.