As a child I
held you in awe.
I watched
from your shadow the esteem you held my mother in and the romance in her eyes.
From my
sensitive perspective you were always larger than life, a man beyond
my
comprehension.
Your
presence was constant, our role as your family never questioned.
From my very
first memory, you were there and we belonged to you.
As I grew
through adolescence, I drifted from your shadow to a corner of my own and
confusion overwhelmed me.
I cannot
bear to think of how much of your character I missed out on knowing during
those
dark years
and despite
my rebellion, still I saw my mother glow and I knew that you were good and
eventually admitted that you were right.
As a young
adult I quietly asked admittance back into your life and you rejoiced. Again, a
man
beyond my comprehension.
I worked
hard to get close to you from that time on and never did you let me down.
Your
response made me want to be a better person, even a rational one.
And the
prouder I made you the more excited I became.
With the
birth of my son, I saw a different man in you.
No longer a
giant in my midst, you became the man of joy, love, and devotion my mom had
always known you to be.
I saw a
gentleness in you, a carefree absolution that left me in a different kind of awe.
I allowed
myself to feel secure with you and as usual you never let me down.
When we last
spoke, you told me how much you loved me and I knew you were saying
goodbye.
And although
I was crumbling inside, I told you of the honor I felt for you, the admiration
I held you in and the hope that my son would grow to know it too. Your last
words to me were "Thank you."
I found it
incredulous that you should be thanking me because I would not be who I am
without
you.
You showed
me what a man was meant to be, a selfless father, devoted husband, adoring
grandfather, and a strong and brilliant presence.
You are the
one I should be thanking. I never asked to be rescued, never dreamed I'd be
worthy
and you saved me anyway.
Daddy, you
are the strength of my heart. You made it whole and because of you, I will
never
give up. I will never ever give up.
Very touching and beautiful words <3 May he rest in peace. ~Hiba~
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Hiba
Delete-Annette