Today, I finally came to the acceptance that I’m back in my pattern of hiding from the world. The more and more I do this, the more and more I realize that I’m like a cat or maybe even a turtle. I have to hide to escape from a world that for some reason, I feel like I can’t handle right now. These wounds to my body, my heart, I have to lick them clean.
It’s like everything just piles up, and just getting out of
bed in the morning is a feat. Let alone, getting out of bed to make coffee. Or
responding to a text message. Or trying to focus on reading a book. For some
reason, I can’t do any of these things lately and I’m just not sure why.
I have so many things that I want to do in the world. People
I want to meet. Places I want to see. Nobel Peace Prizes to win. But then, the
shackle that binds me to a room made of only windows reminds me that something
is holding me back. Every now and then, I’m able to shatter that glass and walk
through it. I’m able to see the world for a little bit. Then, magically, a new
window house is reformed and I’m stuck again.
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