Sitting at the edge of the small motorboat,
Jordan willed himself to take deep slow breaths. Every time he opened his eyes
and looked out at the endless water; panic began to overcome him. Against the vastness of the ocean his small
frame felt like almost nothing, this sense only made his fear grow worse. All
he could do was stare out at the still surface for what felt like hours trying
to gather the strength to jump into the depths.
When he was fifteen, Jordan almost drowned in the ocean. He hadn’t been particularly frightened of the water till that day. In fact, he had no real emotional connection to it at all. He’d taken swimming lessons every summer so when the riptide carried him further out to sea he didn’t panic. He just reoriented himself to the shore and dove down to begin a swim towards land. That’s when he saw him glistening in the depths.
Jordan was proud of himself for sitting on the edge of the boat as long as he did. He spent the morning building up the nerve to get even this far. He’d sit on the edge for a little while, facing the empty beach (it was a little too cold for the season to begin in earnest), and then psyche himself out of it. Jordan couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being watched. He’d hop down and start obsessively checking his equipment. Making sure his wetsuit had no rips, checking the levels and pressure on the oxygen tank, and going over everything needed for a safe dive on his mental checklist. A few times he almost talked himself out of diving, once he even sat at the controls of the ship ready to head back to shore. Then he’d remember the man he saw ten years ago, staring at him from the bottom of the ocean. Jordan knew he had to try and find him again.
The whole thing was ridiculous, and Jordan knew that. Logically, it didn’t make sense. To come to this spot ten years later and expect to have the same experience was certifiable. Yet, Jordan had his dreams haunted over and over again since that day. As the ten-year anniversary of his near drowning approached, the dreams got worse and worse. He’d wake up in a cold sweat. Sometimes, in his half-asleep state, he’d feel the sweat soaked bed clothes clinging to his body and think he was still under the water, panicking all over again and jumping out of bed.
There was another undercurrent to his encounter that Jordan couldn’t shake, something else he tried to push from his brain. Jordan had acquired a fear of the water, but he wasn’t afraid of what he’d seen under the waves. The opposite was true, in fact. Jordan had felt drawn to the man under the water.
The sun shining on the waves, and the cawing of seagull’s circling around him let Jordan slip back into the memories of that day. He dove under the surf to swim towards shore. Jordan’s vision was obscured by the sun glistening behind him, penetrating the water and giving everything, he saw a blinding halo. He squinted his eyes and pressed forward when the man appeared. He saw the man’s face and torso sparkling in the light. The man was beautiful. For a long moment Jordan forgot where he was. The man, appropriately, had the lean build of a swimmer, with just a touch of hair clinging to his torso leading his eye down where the light obscured. The man noticed Jordan and drew his eyes up with a half-smile. He had long hair that floated in the depths' weaving back and forth softly. The sight mesmerized Jordan, something in his body ached to be near the man. The man reached his hand out to Jordan and Jordan reached back like Adam reaching for his creator. The man’s smile grew wider and the distance between them closed.
A euphoria started to settle on Jordan, the light growing brighter and brighter obscuring his vision of the beautiful creature he swam towards. Arms closed around Jordan chest, and he became aware that he wasn’t breathing. The vision of the man became clear again and Jordan realized someone else was grabbing hold of him. He thrashed and squirmed as the unknown force pulled him towards the surface. He stretched out his arm as far as it would go, reaching for the outstretched hand at the bottom of the sea. Jordan breached the surface, the sounds of the surface flooding back to him, the sun, unfiltered by the water, filled his vision for only a moment before consciousness was taken from him.
When he came to, a young man was pulling back from his face. For a fleeting moment he thought it was the man from under the water, they shared the same long hair and build. But when he realized it was only the young lifeguard who had saved his life he began to cry softly. There was a crowd of people gathered to watch the spectacle, but Jordan never felt more alone in his life.
Sitting on the edge of his boat now, details of the man’s face were coming back to Jordan. He remembered his soft features, how they appeared to be shaped by the ebb and flow of tides. A warmth spread through Jordan’s body and new determination fueled him. Jordan stood, adjusted his equipment and jumped into the water.
When he was fifteen, Jordan almost drowned in the ocean. He hadn’t been particularly frightened of the water till that day. In fact, he had no real emotional connection to it at all. He’d taken swimming lessons every summer so when the riptide carried him further out to sea he didn’t panic. He just reoriented himself to the shore and dove down to begin a swim towards land. That’s when he saw him glistening in the depths.
Jordan was proud of himself for sitting on the edge of the boat as long as he did. He spent the morning building up the nerve to get even this far. He’d sit on the edge for a little while, facing the empty beach (it was a little too cold for the season to begin in earnest), and then psyche himself out of it. Jordan couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being watched. He’d hop down and start obsessively checking his equipment. Making sure his wetsuit had no rips, checking the levels and pressure on the oxygen tank, and going over everything needed for a safe dive on his mental checklist. A few times he almost talked himself out of diving, once he even sat at the controls of the ship ready to head back to shore. Then he’d remember the man he saw ten years ago, staring at him from the bottom of the ocean. Jordan knew he had to try and find him again.
The whole thing was ridiculous, and Jordan knew that. Logically, it didn’t make sense. To come to this spot ten years later and expect to have the same experience was certifiable. Yet, Jordan had his dreams haunted over and over again since that day. As the ten-year anniversary of his near drowning approached, the dreams got worse and worse. He’d wake up in a cold sweat. Sometimes, in his half-asleep state, he’d feel the sweat soaked bed clothes clinging to his body and think he was still under the water, panicking all over again and jumping out of bed.
There was another undercurrent to his encounter that Jordan couldn’t shake, something else he tried to push from his brain. Jordan had acquired a fear of the water, but he wasn’t afraid of what he’d seen under the waves. The opposite was true, in fact. Jordan had felt drawn to the man under the water.
The sun shining on the waves, and the cawing of seagull’s circling around him let Jordan slip back into the memories of that day. He dove under the surf to swim towards shore. Jordan’s vision was obscured by the sun glistening behind him, penetrating the water and giving everything, he saw a blinding halo. He squinted his eyes and pressed forward when the man appeared. He saw the man’s face and torso sparkling in the light. The man was beautiful. For a long moment Jordan forgot where he was. The man, appropriately, had the lean build of a swimmer, with just a touch of hair clinging to his torso leading his eye down where the light obscured. The man noticed Jordan and drew his eyes up with a half-smile. He had long hair that floated in the depths' weaving back and forth softly. The sight mesmerized Jordan, something in his body ached to be near the man. The man reached his hand out to Jordan and Jordan reached back like Adam reaching for his creator. The man’s smile grew wider and the distance between them closed.
A euphoria started to settle on Jordan, the light growing brighter and brighter obscuring his vision of the beautiful creature he swam towards. Arms closed around Jordan chest, and he became aware that he wasn’t breathing. The vision of the man became clear again and Jordan realized someone else was grabbing hold of him. He thrashed and squirmed as the unknown force pulled him towards the surface. He stretched out his arm as far as it would go, reaching for the outstretched hand at the bottom of the sea. Jordan breached the surface, the sounds of the surface flooding back to him, the sun, unfiltered by the water, filled his vision for only a moment before consciousness was taken from him.
When he came to, a young man was pulling back from his face. For a fleeting moment he thought it was the man from under the water, they shared the same long hair and build. But when he realized it was only the young lifeguard who had saved his life he began to cry softly. There was a crowd of people gathered to watch the spectacle, but Jordan never felt more alone in his life.
Sitting on the edge of his boat now, details of the man’s face were coming back to Jordan. He remembered his soft features, how they appeared to be shaped by the ebb and flow of tides. A warmth spread through Jordan’s body and new determination fueled him. Jordan stood, adjusted his equipment and jumped into the water.
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