There's times when I feel like I have to use my boyfriend, a tall blonde white guy, as a passport in this world. A shield. What pisses me off is I'm working doing, literally doing ALL THE WORKING but don't get respected as such by people...like this. Like our friend's idiot neighbor, with the Confederate flag on their porch talking mess about me visiting, complaining only the times I came without my boyfriend after 2 years. Why do stupid people out number smart people? Why is Jim Crow law coming back? Why is my money and my voice being ignored? Light skin is no protection like institutionalized white fear.”
It’s forgettable- the number of times I was called a “fucking faggot” as a kid. As a former child of god, I wasn’t expected to know what those words meant. I was taught that repentance was vital to achieving everlasting life. My momma made me go to church every Sunday. I said my prayers as I was told. But I eventually learned that Catholicism was never my sanctuary. Christianity was never my safe-haven. God never stopped the cheap shots. He never once prevented the harassment or pure embarrassment that I felt from the words of my “kin in Christ.” Now, picture me- a helpless faggot, blinded by the incandescent lights of an old catholic church. I was home from college spending Spring Break in my former hellscape. So, naturally, my momma yet again made me go to church. This time, on a Wednesday. It was Ash Wednesday. When I was among the folks from home, I felt out of place. So much that I’d imagine camouflaging myself. Like saber-tooth in hiding. But the difference? I had a far mo...
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