There's times when I feel like I have to use my boyfriend, a tall blonde white guy, as a passport in this world. A shield. What pisses me off is I'm working doing, literally doing ALL THE WORKING but don't get respected as such by people...like this. Like our friend's idiot neighbor, with the Confederate flag on their porch talking mess about me visiting, complaining only the times I came without my boyfriend after 2 years. Why do stupid people out number smart people? Why is Jim Crow law coming back? Why is my money and my voice being ignored? Light skin is no protection like institutionalized white fear.”
I meant it not this way but the tears just flow and my makeup smearing all the more, leaving behind that familiar filthy residue. I may have begun to drive myself away, dragging you down as well. But it's done, I've flipped the switch and now it's dark once more. How painful is the music to my ears, I can't stand to be alone in it, yet here I am again. I pray you fly back and safely and warmly to me, though I fear I've dug the grave too deeply. As the dirt shifts within my soul, I choke on those loving words I'd meant for you. All the fragments of light I see becoming smaller and I wish to be near you in your embrace that might make me feel the warmth I'm missing. And in reality, I doubt I'd breathe another breath without you. So come hither and quickly soothe my dying heart, you are the only cure I know. I cry and cry again, come hither to heal and love me. Come hither and help me dry my tears.
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