I merely manage.
I cope by sending off resumes,
My darling soldiers in the
War for Gainful Employment.
After a certain number
I never know how many
Paralysis sets in.
My inbox fills,
As if by magic –
Offers for loans,
Car insurance,
I don't drive
Subsidized subscription services,
Cryptic crypto currency,
NFTs.
Suddenly it's December
And I'm not longer 17
And I haven't been 17
In so very long
And all I remember of that time
Is raw edged anguish,
Punctuated by hope.
My optimism was cruel.
I spent days and more
Bathed in idiot fantasy–
So fervent,
Verging on prayer
This preposterous mania for
Analysis is
Exhausting,
Even for me.
I doubt and doubt
Until the only certainty is
Uncertainty.
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