The small being entrusted to you
will be helpless at first,
Totally dependent upon you for
care.
Familiarize yourself with its
cries and behaviors.
Be sure to keep it clean and
comfortable,
And feed it at regular
intervals.
Love your human
unconditionally.
Your human will acquire
information
From its surroundings at
astonishing speed,
And will soon make its
preferences known.
Offer a wide variety of palatable
foods,
Most of which it will refuse to
eat.
If this happens too often, offer
gummy vitamins.
Although you should provide a
structured environment
And communicate your expectations
clearly,
It is important not to behave in
a punitive or controlling fashion.
Although it may be more difficult
to do so at this point,
Love your human
unconditionally.
As your small human gains
knowledge and skills,
Granting freedom and independence
while at the same time
Providing a safe place to return
when the world feels unsafe
Will allow it to develop into a
capable young adult.
Your charge should be mostly
self-feeding at this point.
Keep the freezer full of pizzas
And the pantry stocked with ramen
noodles.
Avoid trying to force your human
to conform to your expectations.
Although it may seem an
impossible task at times,
Love your human unconditionally.
As your human reaches maturity,
it is reasonable
To expect it to feed you
from time to time.
Your most difficult challenge
will be
To transition from caretaker to
supportive companion.
Continue to love your human
unconditionally.
Indefinitely.
Unreservedly.
Proudly.
Chris Hayes
“Love is patient and kind; love
does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its
own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing,
but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes
all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”
1 Corinthians 13:4–8a (ESV)
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