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Annabelle My Child (Madison Holland~Lafayette, LA)

I loved you fiercely
As only an adoptive mother could
But I did not know the extent of my love
Until I had to face the fact that you were gone.
My sweet, bitchy little girl
You whom I recognized from the first moment I saw you
I knew you were mine
And I knew you were my Annabelle
Even though you didn’t see it yet
And refused to even be friendly at first.
I guess that’s when I recognized
That I was your mother
Because I loved you without reciprocation
Waiting patiently until you loved me back.
Maybe you will never understand
My devastation
Upon finding the door wide open that night
But my first reaction was not to wonder
If I had been robbed
Or if any of my stuff was gone
Rather, I looked frantically for you.
The tears were instantaneous
I felt helpless and scared
Afraid you would encounter
Dishonesty or Violence
And I would not be able to protect you.
I ran down the sidewalk calling your name
Thinking it was futile
But unwilling to give up and abandon
The thought of your rescue.
When I heard you respond to me
My heart leapt to my throat
As I gathered you into my arms
And held your scared form close to my body.
I love you forever
Because you are my child
Whether or not you ever understand
Does not matter
But as long as you know I will never stop loving you
Unconditionally.
 

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