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21st Century Problems: Sissy THAT Adderall (Part 1) (#201) (Louis Toliver Jr- Austin, TX)


“Mr. Boudreaux!” Mrs. Nunns shouted. “Hello?”

“I’m depressed?” Did I just imagine a doctor’s visit? I came out of my mind and realized I was still at Richard E. Nixon Junior High School. I looked at my clothes. Yes, I was still dressed like Justin Bieber. Wait, Mr. Boudreaux was me. Trey.

“Excuse me?” Nunns was becoming furious. “You are your son are next to perform. What is the song?”

I looked over to Ben, also still dressed like a mini-Justin Bieber. Something wasn’t right. I grabbed him and pulled him to the side. “What Bieber song should we do?”

“I don’t have Bieber fever. I hate him. He’s a sissy,” Ben started picking his nose while staring off at Terri who was watching her girlfriend and her kid dance to “No Rain” by Blind Melon dressed as bumble bees.

“Ben. One. Sissy is not a nice word. Two. WTF!? What are we going to do? I’ve only studied Justin Bieber dance moves. I can’t focus,” I looked over to Terri who looked over to me and smiled and nodded. That man-bitch, I thought. I wasn’t going to lose to Terri’s crazy bee girlfriend.

“One. Sissy isn’t a bad word. RuPaul says it,” Ben said with certainty. “Two. My buddy, Russell sales Adderall,” and out of the air Russell appeared backstage.

“How many you need?” Russell came from behind a curtain. He had a Prodigy t-shirt on with facial hair and Vans with carpenter jeans. Was he a 12 year-old too? I wondered.

Ben looked at me. I looked at Ben. “Just one, please.”

“That’ll be ten bucks.” Russell held his fist out and dropped the pill into my hand.

“Ten bucks?” I was flabbergasted by this little drug dealer.

“Yeah, they’re 30s. Time release,” Russell was serious.

I gave him the ten bucks and he disappeared behind the curtain. I looked at Ben. He looked at him. I took the pill.

“Wow. You took all of that?” Ben laughed.

“What’s your song!” Nunns kinda pushed.

“Let’s Hear for the Boy! By Deniece Williams!” I wasn’t about to be out-showed by some bumble bees. I'm Footloose, baby.

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