When she told her "fuck you"
Uprooted their secret confidences
And flung them into the wind
Using her own heart's words to wound her
Peace love unity respect
Words that meant nothing coming from her
Breaking her heart and spirit so easily
After that she found it hard to trust
Reclusive girl became even more hermit-like
Because if someone so beautiful
Could hurt her so much
Then what was to stop anyone else
From doing the same?
Her belief in humanity was shattered by one nearest to her soul
Of course she kept on trudging through life
Doing what she needed to do
But her broken heart still caused insomnia
And her tears forever remained close to the surface
Because now she sees behind every eye
The dormant malevolence
And wonders when it focuses on her
How long it will take her to recover
This time
It’s forgettable- the number of times I was called a “fucking faggot” as a kid. As a former child of god, I wasn’t expected to know what those words meant. I was taught that repentance was vital to achieving everlasting life. My momma made me go to church every Sunday. I said my prayers as I was told. But I eventually learned that Catholicism was never my sanctuary. Christianity was never my safe-haven. God never stopped the cheap shots. He never once prevented the harassment or pure embarrassment that I felt from the words of my “kin in Christ.” Now, picture me- a helpless faggot, blinded by the incandescent lights of an old catholic church. I was home from college spending Spring Break in my former hellscape. So, naturally, my momma yet again made me go to church. This time, on a Wednesday. It was Ash Wednesday. When I was among the folks from home, I felt out of place. So much that I’d imagine camouflaging myself. Like saber-tooth in hiding. But the difference? I had a far mo...
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