Why do I feel pg13 in a rated R world?? Who made this self-deprecating, loner laying in his bed on a Saturday night?? For the answers are lost just as my mind races to the start. And the slight, smug smile that comes to my lips is not from you. It's from me. Of how I felt, which, by definition, has nothing to do with you. And as the battery on my netflixing iPad dies, I'm painfully reminded of one thing: if I don't experience the world, I'll only write what I read. And who needs another mind numbing saga, when you can have glitter??
I meant it not this way but the tears just flow and my makeup smearing all the more, leaving behind that familiar filthy residue. I may have begun to drive myself away, dragging you down as well. But it's done, I've flipped the switch and now it's dark once more. How painful is the music to my ears, I can't stand to be alone in it, yet here I am again. I pray you fly back and safely and warmly to me, though I fear I've dug the grave too deeply. As the dirt shifts within my soul, I choke on those loving words I'd meant for you. All the fragments of light I see becoming smaller and I wish to be near you in your embrace that might make me feel the warmth I'm missing. And in reality, I doubt I'd breathe another breath without you. So come hither and quickly soothe my dying heart, you are the only cure I know. I cry and cry again, come hither to heal and love me. Come hither and help me dry my tears.
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