I have had every inch of me exposed for the world to see. I've had my dignity stripped and my faith shaken but I still believe in myself, which is fearless. I've been neglected, overlooked, under appreciated, and beaten senseless in the name of the "L" word but today I find myself opening up to love again, making me fearless. And as for my passion: I get on stage with majority, but never all, of my skin exposed knowing every inch I move will be watched by the judgmental eyes of women who feel superior to me for their conservative nature, my name slandered for merely doing what makes me, me. Let them call me a stripper or a whore and bash my dancing and quote their mothers till their faces turn fucking purple, I will always get on that stage, I will always move my crowd and I will always twerk my ass off bc I am not afraid of anything, much less anything anyone on this earth has to say. I am fearless. "Hidden passageways" Out of body, efforts to redirect my attention but tantalizing memories flood. Loving her and missing her so, yet knowing better. Walking through the house with a million locked spaces, knowing my departure may be the last time I'll gave upon my chamber of personal design or portraits of My brother and I when he was barely 4 months old. Bitter sweet sickly stomach with the confusion of never wanting to be HERE but just wanting to be THERE for THEM... I quietly slip outside into the universe, my prize shining in the sun and draped over my arm. Oh, what a sickly feeling my gut has acquired since high noon. Oh, what a dizzying evening this will become.
I meant it not this way but the tears just flow and my makeup smearing all the more, leaving behind that familiar filthy residue. I may have begun to drive myself away, dragging you down as well. But it's done, I've flipped the switch and now it's dark once more. How painful is the music to my ears, I can't stand to be alone in it, yet here I am again. I pray you fly back and safely and warmly to me, though I fear I've dug the grave too deeply. As the dirt shifts within my soul, I choke on those loving words I'd meant for you. All the fragments of light I see becoming smaller and I wish to be near you in your embrace that might make me feel the warmth I'm missing. And in reality, I doubt I'd breathe another breath without you. So come hither and quickly soothe my dying heart, you are the only cure I know. I cry and cry again, come hither to heal and love me. Come hither and help me dry my tears.
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