Today is the day of many haunting curses
When medication no longer helps, only worsens
The thoughts of past pitfalls of which I deserve
Is an apology or a eulogy enough to take away
The scrutiny that abuses me?
Or burn the battered bridges to stop
My demons from pursuing me?
Positivity can be a parasite that preys on your brain
Draining and shaming your consciousness while the monsters lift
The veil to reveal a pistol packed with pills aiming at your soul
Without a purpose to persevere, letting poisoned promises take control
Instead of having precognitive decisions to mask the fact
That a broken heart's a pallbearer at your funeral
It’s forgettable- the number of times I was called a “fucking faggot” as a kid. As a former child of god, I wasn’t expected to know what those words meant. I was taught that repentance was vital to achieving everlasting life. My momma made me go to church every Sunday. I said my prayers as I was told. But I eventually learned that Catholicism was never my sanctuary. Christianity was never my safe-haven. God never stopped the cheap shots. He never once prevented the harassment or pure embarrassment that I felt from the words of my “kin in Christ.” Now, picture me- a helpless faggot, blinded by the incandescent lights of an old catholic church. I was home from college spending Spring Break in my former hellscape. So, naturally, my momma yet again made me go to church. This time, on a Wednesday. It was Ash Wednesday. When I was among the folks from home, I felt out of place. So much that I’d imagine camouflaging myself. Like saber-tooth in hiding. But the difference? I had a far mo...
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