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To My Future Husband (Skyra Francesca Rideaux-Carencro, LA)


24 years 10 months 309 days
A witness to my loneliness
God’s  attempt to fulfill His Purpose
Through His daughter
A daughter that used to claim another father
But cries for want of his voice
24 years 10 months 309 days
Silent frustration at the lack
Of respect mothers are teaching their sons
Doors not opening on the passenger side
Of my crossed ankles
Chairs still pushed slightly underneath
Cheap tables and dutch balances
I Love you coming from lips steamed in passion
Between closed legs instead
 Of on bended knees with pearl rings
A mother made when still a child
Left with the scars of regret and anger
Fighting my own demons between
The blood on innocent sheets
He should have been yours
You should have been mine
And I yours, We all belong to God
But choices have led to a path
Where three years of abstinence
Three years of waiting to be
My husbands crown and spread
Diamonds on silk sheets of marriage
To a man God told to find only me
Three years of empty passenger seats
Tables for one,
And spider webs growing in places
Where passion never pulsed
The man my husband should look like
Sleeping in a tomb near God’s Hand
I die everyday longing for both
my father and my husband
because both have abandoned my heart
and left me to my lonely independence
its dark here where I cry
and I cry and I cry
for the father that will never
walk me down a garden filled
with forget-me-nots
for a son who will never know
the image of manhood
for the husband who will never
know I am enough
for the life sacrificed to a God
of mysterious ways
for a woman too scared to admit
that every night when God’s listening
she prays for her future husband
for the man that God promised Jesus would be
the bridegroom to my loneliness
the crown of my future husband
24 years 10 months 309 days
And still I await his answer

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