You don’t even know me brown skinned little boy from a mother’s womb you came one day unexpectedly like I was supposed to love you on purpose I hated you on sight smiling at me some kinda nice like that will fix the ruin you caused my life crying when I should be smiling, laughing when I should be crying, hair piling in the trash-mans open palm when it should be the essence of my beauty scarring my insides with your changes and turns, scarring my outsides with your shape of your head and then marring me on my most feminine parts expecting me to love you on purpose. don’t you know that you were bred on a sheet that was burned with blood from a boy who didn’t know what he took walked away with part of me still clinging to his dick and denied my innocence on a bible in his mother’s house now here you come in the time it takes to mourn expecting me to love you on purpose It’s impossible to steal what was always meant to be yours in the first place funny, because you aint mine I stole you f...

I’m a rubber band to say the least Moved and maneuvered into any make you imagine Understand my limit better that I do The dishes, the laundry, lunch and even dinner Ask me to extend past my limits Because I will, then retract into the praise you push upon me I will humbly hide my given effort With every extra task asked, my resilience gets thinner Excellence is what some see But few know the pressure and tension create when asked favors Being broken is my biggest fear Too much strain will pop me, and no one will care. I should stay aware of my limit And not overload myself by holding together everyone else’s stuff Unappreciated success makes failure so easy All the feats that I accomplish, it’s like they were never there.

He met her. She met him. They went on a date. They had sex. She got pregnant. He cheated on her. She cried. He lied. They made up. They got married. She went into labor. He went to a bar. Their first child was born. They got a divorce. Time went forward. They learned themselves better. They both tried again. She met her. He met him. She loved her. He loved him. She got help mothering her child. He got helped with his drinking. She married her. He married him. She couldn’t be apart from her. He couldn’t be apart from him. Two couples in love.

Is there a difference fat and phat... Is it ok to be plus sized..... Do the guys all say, "oh you're not my type", simply because you weigh over 200lbs? Do they view me as unhealthy? Am I ugly or unattractive? Will anyone be able to love me, even though my community wants me to be unloved? Men looking and thinking less of you because you don't have a six pick and beautiful hard toned shoulders The same men who say they want masculine straight acting males The very same men who say No Fems, No Fats, No Blacks Maybe if I relocate myself out of Louisiana Maybe if I lose a bunch of weight or just stop eating Then will I be pretty? No one knows what or how this can affect ones attitude about themselves I know this, I'm big and I might not be the masculine man that all the homosexuals want But I know that I'm beautiful inside and out Big will Always Beautiful

Something that scares the hell out of me But I still soemehow continue with pursuing my dreams because being afraid of the unknown is pointless. Afraid of falling back into the cycle of giving it my all and being denied what I've tried so hard to accomplish and then hearing "if it is meant to be it will be it will be" or " dust yourself off and try again" words that go in one ear and out the other because that's not what i really want to hear. I feel like crying and giving up and then I realize that if I don't pick myself up then I have failed to try. Understanding that failure is only a figment of my imagination because no matter the amount of times I try if I don't give up I HAVE NOT FAILED

People talk to me Most all of me will listen While only one responds

“If I was your boyfriend, I’d never let you go I can take you places you ain't never been before,” I sang along to Justin’s Bieber’s hit “Boyfriend” as I learned the moves from new Wii dancing/dating game, Justin Bieber: The Experience. It had finally arrived. I even got a new look to go with my much needed life change. I also quit all five of my jobs. I was jobless, but I looked good. I was one sexy African-American (Kenyan), Asian (Korean), Hispanic (Cuban), Caucasian (Scottish), Native American (Cherokee) America with manicured eyebrows and blond hair. Justin’s confidence was inspiration. She was the first young, open, lesbian rocking the charts. Everything about her screamed masculine boldness. Her hair, her use of a male name, her style, her public relationships with other female stars, and her wonder Bieber swag. I was in love with a lesbian. I was just about to begin a dating tips simulation on the game when my doorbell rang. Ugh, It was Nate, “Can I use your laptop and wifi...

It would be a good idea to observe your neighbors Notice how they struggle along, daily, with life labors Pay closer observations to people that grow though It is those good neighbors that change the status quo Why throw an obstacle in the way of people who change? A changing human adapts to and leads in her or his community Why chose to be the acid that corrodes what’s within your range I must tell you, adversary to change, that humans reject disunity When a family unites and changes to maintain its values It is best to decide what’s important, being a family or alone? We believe that we can live together and die together fully grown So any of those who use the past to stop progress, we refuse Dear adversary to change, please understand nature’s stem Appearances evolve, not substance; people change, so let them

Sometimes I get phantom pains From my wrist The faint, thin lines Grooves in my flesh Horizontal, non-fatal From the darkness inside Throb with sudden painful clarity Sharp, shooting digs Tonight they whisper at me Barely audible screams "Remember who you are Look at what you did Your frailty manifest in us We embody the pain within your soul The tears from your heart The weakness of your spirit" Their message only calms me Because that was another time Another place and another me I am different now I am healed, whole, beautiful The scars from my cuts refuse to fade But add a depth to me Marked in my skin but etched into my very core These parts of me that are no more

The hands of my love are rough and calloused deep So wide the palms and spaces 'tween their fingers. With care, upon my hips, quick rhythms they do beat. Although my love's away his echo lingers. Upon me he drums; his eyes are always closed. His tranquil face, it sways from side to side. Within my bones a sweet vibration grows As beats dance from my belly to my thighs. So steady the tapping of my lover's hands Rhythms closely ordered yet they flow. The changes in their sequence, I do not understand. The point from which they come, I do not know. Yet just as he provides the base for joining melodies My love, for me, is strong and sound; he is my steady beat.

The more that I’m away from you, the more I want to wait for you. I just want to enter your eyes and walk where happiness lies. But that’s lies because when we meet it’s as if we’ve never met our lips. Like we’ve never stolen loves like two thieves in the night. And at night, it’s like the moon shines just for us. It shines for you. But you act as if we’ve never locked our bodies in a pool of passion pounding with a potential that neither of us can control and when I dive... I dive deeply, never worried about the waves because you express that ecstasy in oh so many ways I wait for you, just to wait for you. See I don’t mind knowing that you’re walking my way just as long as when you walk my way You walk…my way. That way that blows my mind that way that slows… down… time. See I remember that time we were at that place doing that thing with those people on that date that doesn’t even matter because when you made that face you took my heavy heart and you held it. See you had my permission...

Yes I do believe I am setting out again. Must keep up the pace while I'm still able. The sleep gave me strength. I walk now in a glide, To that distant point where the curving dirt path narrows. Once I reach that narrow point, No longer is it narrow. The edges wide, engulf me like a dream. It's all a dream, I realize, The new point and the old. So many dreams I've had already; So many yet to come.

Our bond and his hands remained a strong connection and kept me tethered to life. People who saw us together would smile at the warmth that emanated from our bodies; flowing through my hands into his. And always his hands would hold me closer than life itself, binding me to him, and him to me. We would sit and talk for hours about paved roads that used to be gravel, books he’d never read, and foods from foreign countries he would never visit. He inspired my love of music from decades before me, and together we would dance and sing, in a world created only for us. I can remember him, in the kitchen, his hands moving and creating foods he knew I would love. Sometimes I would open the door and he’d be standing next to the stove, his back to me. I’d tip toe around the table and squeeze him heartily from behind; his body would immediately react to my touch. His hands often calloused but always soft, would find mine and we’d stand there clinging to each other, our familiarity radiating betwe...

     "I first met Madison in London during the ULL Study Abroad program. I was instantly charmed by Madison's calm personality, sense of humor, & maturity. She was an extreme pleasure to get to know and I enjoyed the 2 1/2 weeks we spent together. I particularly loved her independence, yet her clear dedication to her relationship.      As I left London to spend time In Scotland, she left by herself to spend time in Ireland. I never once, during our entire encounter, figured that she loved to write until she contacted me recently. And I must tell you, this is only the beginning of how much she has offered me. We are so grateful to add her to the Louisiana Words family. Ladies & Gentlemen: Louisiana Words introduces Madison Elizabeth Holland." - Louis Toliver Jr.

Louisiana Words/The Series: Confessions

If I win, you win. We move forward And this story will end with progress If I lose, you lose. We fall backward And this story will end with failure. I am an enemy to myself because I am weak On the surface and I can feel my judgment I am a friend to myself because I have strength Down to my core and I can feel my power But I’ve decided the conflict ends Both sides and all parts have combined to win To make the perfect cultural ally And I’ve decided the war against unjust begins

I know who you are knotted cords of binding, wrapped around the hurt That skips rope to the thump of Jazz Winding around purple forget-me-nots and baby’s breath Nestled deep within my essence, rotting in the space Where butterflies and fingertips curtsied I know who you are Walking away from 213 reasons why you should stay Yet choose to tap right back to grimy slums of shame Embracing every lingering scent of betrayal Remembering the ambiance of coral pearls Strung around my neck, you laugh I know who you are Cracked sidewalks, liquor, intentional groping Swaying to the charms of my juices flowing down the street Covered in the blood of stolen invitations Forced kisses, all for the sake of making your Acquaintance I know who you are Silent strangers appearing in circles I frequent Smiling through lens colored vases, opening doors Opening doors which were closed for business You broke in, you broke in, you broke me Puddles of rivers leading to your stench still on me I know who you are ...

The first proposition comes on Albert Street. Old guy, green truck, Asks what my name is and if I want to get in. The second comes shortly after. The type of car, I don’t notice this time, nor the type of person driving it. I concentrate more on the ground, and on my feet, and on the precarious location to which they've led me. By the third offer it is clear that women normally walk this street for work. This third man eyes me with assurance, desire glazing his face, weighting his eyelids, pulling his mouth into a sickening grin. I shudder and walk faster. My choice of streets wasn't very wise, but no sign warned me of where I was going. At its beginning this street was genuinely harmless, but following it seems to have turned me into a prostitute. My eyes leave the ground for a moment to survey their surroundings. They guide my feet left towards a gathering of cars and stoplights and a bus. I run at it, waving foolishly, fishing coins from my pockets as I climb on, sighing hea...

What do you expect?? Jesus was just a man. Created in his father's image, I endure the same fate. Torn between sin and salvation, I take the only road I know. I leave small pieces of myself in the trail. Hoping this will nostalgically remind me that there is a need to remember where it began to see the end. However, as time passes and people follow, I loose sight of my own pieces. Morphed together, they no longer lead my memories. Lost in the journey, I pray. I pray for forgiveness of things I'm not sure need forgiving. I pray in the same manor as him, but I have lost track of why. In the end's light of a long life's voyage, I finally recognize the pieces I left behind. It is then that I realize what everyone works so hard to forget.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013 will be the next installment of live performances by the authors of Louisiana Words. Louisiana Words/The Series: Confessions will focus more on personal, introspective and honest writing. For more information about Louisiana Words/The Series: Confessions , please click the link below: https://www.facebook.com/events/273243339486024/ There will also be live reading opportunities for authors who have not contributed to Louisiana Words. Louisiana Words/The Series: Open Mic is coming July 9th. More details will be posted soon!

Consider this an introduction ... ...to the new drag king on the block Gentleman no other man can Perform this masculine role as well Until you step it up, it’s best To respect yourselves but women more Because they have carried This land on their backs no doubt So acknowledge the power they have And the power you don’t Get your emotions together So you can help them rebuild this land

"To My Brothers (Wherever You Are)"   I know that some of you will read this And I know some of you won’t We are growing into men This is a difficult for us all As our parents fight to provide for us We are drifting apart for good reason We are learning ourselves We are learning our purpose We may squabble from time to time But don’t doubt for one second That brotherly love won’t overcome Don’t doubt that we will come together Some of us are very close Some of us are very distant Either way, the love for each other Is just as valuable as any amount of gold Our relationships will constantly change But the family we have grown to be Will always, always and forever remain I love you all equally the same

"To My Single Ladies" I haven’t forgotten you I get so caught up in men That I need to give you some attention When you get dressed this morning Make sure that shirt is cut low Make sure that skirt is too short Put on them heels and walk out that door If a guy says you’re asking for it Kick him in the crotch and say “so are you” Because he is just jealous That he can’t show his body With the confidence that you do So keep werqing your jobs and flipping your hair He'll just be scratching his ass and gagging for more ‘Til you meet the right single gentleman Who respects you as I do

Reality Check about Using Your Heart This is meant for good advice Lead with your head not your heart I didn’t say don’t show your heart But not everyone wants to see it Even if you mean it So don’t show it to the wrong people Because they will know how to break it Don’t take it personal that’s just life Though, not so fast, the heart is useful Because using yours will inspire love But let the potential for those who love Shine from them and show compassion As they learn to survive in a hard world Who you are is not who they are Most conflicts are caused by the heart For most who want love Don’t know how to give it So don’t expect love back Be patient and understanding Guide with your head See that people love even if they don’t say it Let those who love you Show their heart the same time as you And neither of you will expect Nor more or less than that This is   how happy relationships are formed

"Uprooted." When my hometown finally saw the sky It sucker punched us in the throats Left us breathless It said: I’m going to keep you awake some nights without touching you… You see in this hometown, where you learned to ride a bicycle, Twelve year olds work 16 hour days Getting cut by corn leaves, Winter reigns 8 months of the year And you got grounded for dating a black boy… …so…you left. Blindly jumped into the nearest river And let it wash you Let it Carry you Til you could see the mouth of the ocean. And this place The ground is so soft it sinks out from beneath your feet In this place The people don’t mature with their years but continue to party like college freshmen well into their 80s This place That’s held onto a heritage, Unable to forget the past because they can’t even bury your dead This place. That was hiding the kindest pair of green eyes you’ve ever known, This place, is a paradise. And you wonder how the rest of the country has forgotten it, Never really...

"Act 4: Scene 1"   Prologue   “To be or not to be?” You don’t need a Shakespeare to answer What you should know by now Matter of fact don’t even explain   Not yet. Just listen first. Be aware, that yes, you did read The first three acts of my life Admit you just can’t see things in the middle   Life seems to present you only two choices But what if I told you there’s often a third Though it requires you to hear, watch, and read All the evidence to avoid suicide, right Hamlet?

How I think   Am I? I think I am, So I am.   Certain I am, So I am certain. Certain am I?   Do I make sense, Sense this makes? Makes it doesn’t.   I know I am alive. Make sense of that, But you aren’t certain?   Let’s just agree? We know death We don’t know life.   Well I do, Do you? Maybe.

Changing we are always Consumed by the Body Life Force Pulling us under Rise up Float on Drop out into the Sounds of Peace Dance with the Darkness of our Past Present Future Do you see it? it's there... in the distance Must Fight Through the Pain the Pleasure Must Learn from The sneers tears fears cheers Open ears Open eyes Open mind Taking in all things Innocent and Corrupt ....for one cannot exist without the other

"To My Best Friend" No. No. No. I am not talking about another person I am talking about myself No. No. No. I don’t mean that I am my only friend I meant that I am good to myself

from The Book of Human Revelations "Revelation #2" There are four types of people in the world: Type C : I mention these types first. These are “common” everyday people and my heart goes out to them the most. These are the people who do not know how to live for themselves and thus commonly make choices based are what they don’t know not what they know. They usually have not learned how to live happily and thus find fear as motivating cause for their decision-making. These are NOT BAD people. They just don’t have the education to be good people. It takes the most work but they can learn good ways. Type F : These are types that are the people you should always avoid getting close or listening to. These types are usually the ones that create the "fear" that influence Type C people. They have no loyalty except the loyalty to themselves. They can be identified in that they will never give a compliment to an opponent. They find it most...

"Weighted Down Blues" Who's that face outside my window, Thought that you was dead and gone. Why's your face outside my window, I thought that you was dead and gone. Yeah I thought I'd left you back there,                                     but I Feel you hangin' on. Seen so many folks slide under, Seen 'em slip on further away. Watched too many folks slide under Yes I watched them all slip away. By the time I saw them slippin',                         they done Too far in to save. Well my steps sometimes grow heavy, Pavement crumbles 'neath my feet. Yes my steps grow oh so heavy, Pavement crumbles 'neath my feet. Its the weight of all them people ...

"Age" (in response to an older man asking my age,     then informing me that I knew nothing) The unappreciative youth dismisses wisdom. The unlearned adult forgets his childhood. Neither have much to look forward nor back to.

from  The Book of Human Revelations "Revelation #1" Children these days only know how to grow by the examples their parents or mentors set. So, parents and mentors, you may choose to behave like animals or like human beings, it’s your choice. But know what you do to your children, they will also do their children, because it will be all they know. If you tell them not to “be”, then they will never “be”. Unless, by some miracle, a book finds their minds, a movie finds their eyes, or a song finds their ears, in which they may receive the humanity that society doesn’t offer them.

"21 st Century Problems: The Return of the Surrogate Father (#15)" I’m not going to lie. RightSaid Fred1991 a.k.a. “Me” has been laying low and avoiding gaming because I am not sure how to keep dodging FishEater2013 a.k.a Ben’s want for me to attend his parent appreciation at his Junior High School. I mean this is already a touchy line making friends with a 12-yeard old through PS3 online-gaming. Woah, I didn’t mean to use the word “touchy”.  Now this conversation is awkward. What if I’m being set up for one of those To Catch a Predator epsisodes? Right? I am no fool I saw the 1 st episode of the 1 st Season of Degrassi: The New Generation where Emma got lured into a hotel room with a pedophile. Except I feel like the roles are reversed. I feel like Emma. I feel violated. What should I do?   I mean what kind of home situation is this kid going through that he is reaching out to a complete stranger to his act as his parent? I’m afraid to keeping ignoring h...

I thought you were Superman. Taking off Brave. No gear. No fear. Kryptonite? Pffft!  Muah! So you thought. But discovered When you landed, there lie your krypto. The green glowing rock of  The familiar, routine, ordinary. What next? Another flight. But how? After you've worn the cape. Es-cape. Leave the cape. Only to discover you are Clark Kent. And he is Superman. Maybe not in flight but in person. Be that person With or without the cape. The story still ends the same. Get the girl. Know your weakness. Always a hero Just sometimes in a different place. When you were flying I said Who is that? A bird? A plane? When you landed I saw you really were Superman.

"How do I love thee?? Let me count the ways." Then somehow, you forget math. You forget sound. You forget. Some words best unspoken, but the silence breaks my soul. Like waiting for rain in a drought: useless. All the things, once AND twice, bring me to hell and back. The one place you swore to never go seems to be the only place that we know. As the lifetime promised circles the drain, I find the only thing that will bring me to shore. The undertow takes me back, but only for a moment. For now I know, arithmetic will save my soul.

I fell all the way down. And now there is no one to pick me up. Pick the pieces up. I'll have to leave some there. For some stranger to walk on without knowing the disrespect they are committing. I can only fit so much in my hands. The rest will have to stay. The next person will just have to deal with the parts I managed to salvage. As for the rest, maybe it's where it belongs. We all survive with missing parts. They chip away: little by little. I'll just have to learn to survive with just about nothing. And if one day you find a broken part scurrying in the wind, just leave it be. It's better to be a part of the world than to be part of nothing.

"Showtime" Hello our good local friends Our play is about to start So please listen until it ends Hold distractions, don’t event fart We plan to give you good shows All we ask is our audience love us Me and my friends will lessen your woes We will take your mind off political fuss We know the spotlight is on us now So before the curtain opens to you Performing magic so your minds say ‘wow’ Know our goal is to entertain and love you too

Thank you for making all my birthdays bright Celebrating all my years Thank you for getting up late at night And dispelling all my fears Thank you for the values you taught me Being patient as I learned Thank you for filling me with glee At every milestone I turned Thank you for teaching me to be a woman Others could look up to Thank you for doing everything under the sun That you could possibly do Thank you for showing me the kind of mother My son would need me to be

"Bravery Runs in the Family" (To My Mother, Born Mary Magdalene Young) The place that I stand in my life right now To my mother, I owe the most credit Every virtuous quality that you see in me It is from her in which these values were set My mother once told me long after I left home That I was the bravest man she soon knew It is funny to now to think of this moment Because to me I was then young and cowardly Though I will always be my mother ‘s baby son I now claim that I will be that brave man That my mother saw in me before I did And take care of myself and my community Spiritual, hardworking, giving, loving, funny, noble, These are just a few qualities that “Mama” gave me So the success you see through me in my life Remember this man was shaped by his brave mother

"Identity" They say what you do Defines who you are But sometimes our actions Don’t match who we are It is so easy to get confused By who we are and what we do We should encourage each other To act from within the core And not by the forces from the outside Your identity is what you make of it It is a rough sketch of missteps and triumphs And there is nothing wrong with that Just embrace what makes 

"The Dream of Freedom (2013)" In life, we often hit walls and it seems there is nowhere to go. It is our lack of choices that often create the lack of decisions that keep us confined by our identities. However, our identities are supposed to create the freedom to dream in order to break down those walls. If you can’t dream, then you can never be free. So, if right now you feel you have no place to go, grab a sledgehammer. Dream through that wall and free yourself right now.-

"Word" “Why we gots to read this old stuff? The way they talks is stupid.” Teaching Shakespeare is quite an endeavor Especially, to students who read hardly ever But breaking down the fear of Shakespeare Is only possible if students persevere And once they realize they can connect They are enchanted by Romeo and Juliet Immortal words cast a spell And their interest I cannot quell They are miffed by how much they delight In one of literature’s greatest plights Slowly, they begin to see literature’s mission Which is to communicate the human condition After each day’s reading, they begin to understand The power of words written by hand I look forward to each day’s tomorrow Because students would say, “Parting is such sweet sorrow” I observe how the student who said, “The way they talks is stupid” Now departs the class and into the herd And he walks with a new respect for the power of a word.