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21st Century Problems: WWJBD or What Would Justin Bieber Do? (#16) (Louis Toliver Jr- Swartz, LA)

“If I was your boyfriend, I’d never let you go I can take you places you ain't never been before,” I sang along to Justin’s Bieber’s hit “Boyfriend” as I learned the moves from new Wii dancing/dating game, Justin Bieber: The Experience. It had finally arrived. I even got a new look to go with my much needed life change. I also quit all five of my jobs. I was jobless, but I looked good. I was one sexy African-American (Kenyan), Asian (Korean), Hispanic (Cuban), Caucasian (Scottish), Native American (Cherokee) America with manicured eyebrows and blond hair. Justin’s confidence was inspiration. She was the first young, open, lesbian rocking the charts. Everything about her screamed masculine boldness. Her hair, her use of a male name, her style, her public relationships with other female stars, and her wonder Bieber swag. I was in love with a lesbian. I was just about to begin a dating tips simulation on the game when my doorbell rang. Ugh, It was Nate, “Can I use your laptop and wifi?” I lied again, “Nate, I told you, since the beginning (*wink*:Episode 1 reference) that I don’t have internet.” Nate scoffed, “That’s not true. I caught a wifi signal the other day when I was jogging by with my Ipod…Nate stopped talking and look at the TV which had Bieber playing. “What are you doing?” I responded sassily, “Channeling the energy of my new inspiration. And yes, I know she’s a lesbian. And I am proud.” Nate looked confused, “That’s a teenage boy.” My heart sank. I stood in silence. The music continued in the background, “Na na na, na na na, na na na ey. Na na na, na na na, na na na ey. If I was your boyfriend.’ I thought the song was about a girl wanted to be in the boyfriend role. I am and more confused everyday.

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