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21st Century Problems: Episode 4 (Louis Toliver Jr - Swartz, LA))


I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared as this night I walked into Blockbuster. It looked like the Ghostbusters needed to come set some ghost traps. There were stacks and stacks of DVDs piled up. I could barely see a path to walk in the store. I know what you’re thinking, “Who goes to Blockbuster when there is Netflix, Hulu, Red Box, On Demand…etc?” Someone that needs to have something immediately. That’s who. I was stressed and there’s only one thing that cured my stress: dancing. I was looking for 2 things: A dancing video game for my Wii (the console in “Episode 2” was PS3..fyi) and From Justin to Kelly. Okay, so I saw no one…What do you mean why am I renting From Justin to Kelly? I don’t think that’s important to the story. Okay. Okay. The opening dance, “The Luv (The Bounce)” is a diamond in a movie distracted by Justin Guarini’s hair and Kelly Clarkson’s short-lived acting career. Ah!! My A.D.D.! Okay, so I saw no one in the store. It was just me and the two TVs playing movie trailers. “Hello? Is anyone here?” I asked like a slasher movie victim. “The killer’s behind you,” I thought and I turned around quickly just to make sure there wasn’t a killer. I’m smart. I assumed the clerk (or whatever you call these people) was in the back doing something with movies or video games. I decided to find what I needed myself. The video game was easy. I just grabbed something that look like it would make me feel like, to quote Lil Mama: “my lip gloss was popping,” while I was dancing. I couldn’t determine if From Justin to Kelly was in Comedy or Musicals. I don’t think it’s intentionally funny though so I went to Musicals. This was difficult looking for a real movie. I mean Netflix knows me. It makes suggestions so I don’t have to look for a movie. “These are large genres, they should be narrowed down in this store,” I thought. I tripped over a stack of DVDs and all the racks in the store fell like dominoes. I panicked, jumped, and ran out of the store like a roach that felt the light come on in the kitchen. Mission Failed. I was still stressed. “Wait, I could just download From Justin to Kelly off ITunes” I thought. Why did I even go to Blockbuster? That was stupid. I bet no one was even there working anyways. “Goodbye to you, Blockbuster…From Michelle Branch.”

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