“Uh….let me get one of them big chocolate-mel coffees,” the
man at the drive thru intercom yelled into the microphone loud enough for me,
sitting in my truck behind with my driver-side window down, to judge him. But, of
course, it was I that need to be judged. Yes, I, because of my busy life
schedule working, on-line gaming, and stuff, when I’m feeling impatient to wait
for food, I go to McDouches. “I said I want one of them big carmel-choco
coffees…like on the picture there.” Sitting here listening to this man was so
painful that I couldn’t help but bang my head on the steering wheel. “Sir, do
you mean a large coffee with caramel and chocolate in it or a large caramel
mocha?” Whoever that person was working deserved employee of the month, because
this was brutal. “Yeah…yeah. A big caramel macho.” The employee on the intercom
snickered, “Okay sir. Will that complete your order?” I imagine that the road
to purgatory was much like waiting for a slow order in a fast food drive thru.
The man final drove to the window. It was my turn, finally. “Welcome to
McDonald’s!” I was pretty sure I was going to get a #3 (a Quarter-pounder
w/cheese)…but, “Would you like to try our new McHealthy?” is what the employee
asked me. I unwillingly asked, “What is that?” She said, “It’s a lean Icelandic burger substitute on
a Mongolian wheat bun.” That sounded like a code for intestinal problems. “Ah…I’ll
pass. I’ll just…” but she interrupted, “Would you like to try our new McDiet?” I
rolled my eyes and asked, “A McDiet?” She nodded (I think) over the intercom and said, “Yes.” I gave up, “Go on.” She eagerly continued, “Well, with our
McDiet, you get a choice of one of our signature salads made fresh from our
special Atlantic seaweed blend and an apple pie dessert pill…” I was over it, “No
thanks. I need at #3, no onions, and a bottled-water. Can you peel the
McDonald’s label off of it, please?” I was probably going to refill it all day
because buying bottled-waters all day is expensive and no one needed to know I
had been here. “Um….okay. Will that complete your order? Would you like…,” the
employee was doing the job too well, so this needed to end. “Yes! Yes! That
will complete my order!” I pushed the gas pedal down and braked immediately.
The guy from earlier was still trying to pay. I could here the employee
instigating this opportunity, “I’m sorry sir, but your debit card says declined
again. Would you like to apply for a McCreditCard?” Someone
help me. I’m in purgatory. Going to McDonalds is like going to a place where clowns shouldn’t be,
considering the quality of product offered here, let’s say a funeral.
I know how this should be: I've seen it, you see, In soap operas, Movies. Your eyes are closed, As if in sleep. Perfect peachy skin Atop a snow white pillow Under flawlessly matched sheets. The heart monitor, Quiet bleeps. The ventilator, A steady hiss. None of that is this. Your eyes Stuck open Seeing without sight Yellow sclera Dumb tears streaming. Tubes, taped to your face Delicate skin torn Where nurses Repositioned them To feed you To heal you You never liked being told What to do. Your whole torso spasms Spastic, Every 40 seconds. A machine Forces your lungs to act. Your hands are warm From hemodialysis But don't respond When we each grab one Give it a kiss. We spend the day Brushing your hair Telling stories Singing songs. Praying prayers. You're not there. Hospital staff Are more lovely If less pretty Than on TV. When the time comes They gently walk us From the room Close the curtai...
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