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One’s Precious Chance (Marlon D. Bourque- Lafayette, LA)

As I lay peering into the darkness of uncertainty ahead,
many thoughts of Why? Could-haves? Should-haves? race unceasing.
Yearnings of wellness, future plans, an equal solitude,
like those memories of times past frequently enter my senses.

I now see myself as an outcast, outsider from my own body,
as I view healthy persons in my perceptive eye as uncaring or inhuman in action.
Feelings of inadequacy, shame, or anger surface as I hear media spew stories of,
hate, rejection stigma because of the virus that found it’s way into my body. 

Where greed and indifference vie as a form of success in the democratic society,
expressions of concern abound at creative solutions of which to fulfill my remaining quality of life.
Ironically it has taken a conversation with death,
to experience the anger to want to live. 

This very threat to my health has given me willingness to get in touch with my inner feelings,
to share in my love of music, art, and writing openly without reserve.
All trivial, superficial mind games and material possessions ,
give way to trying to reach a higher spiritual path by being truly honest with myself. 

For each change in my roller-coaster life’s path is now viewed,
as a unique challenge toward a dream or ultimately a fulfilled goal.
Though I may never know an extended freedom to live,
but shall begin to appreciate the tiniest quality to life time has to offer. 

I may never know Why I stare at mortality so soon?,
yet the choices I embrace now can help me continue to love life.


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