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21st Century Problems: I Can’t Coca Cola Freestyle with A.D.D. (#20) (Louis Toliver Jr-Swart, LA)


Yeah, I know what you're thinking…I’m supposed to be about to do a dance routine at Richard E Nixon Junior High School. However, this is in my mind and my mind can play, pause, rewind, or fast forward whenever I want it too. The first thought that popped into my head was how bad my A.D.D. was getting. I was at my favorite wing place the other day, Wing Your Mama, and I ran into something that affirmed we are living in the future: the Coca Freestyle 100 flavors plus machine! Coca Cola Lime, Coca Cola Cherry, Coca Orange, Fanta Grape, Fanta Strawberry, Diet Coke Vanilla, Sprite, Sprite Zero, Sprite Zero Orange, Mr. Pibb Orange, Vault Orange, Dasani Orange, Dasana w/ Lemon-Orange, Minute Maid Orange, Hi-Orange, Powerade Orange, Orange, Orange, Orange, Orange….you know what I think I want something orange. My problem is now at this futuristic drink machine I know have 100 ways to mess up my day. What if orange doesn’t go with what I choose. Mr. Pibb Orange, really? That’s too sweet. That’s a lot of syrup. I don’t like when my insides take a bath in syrup. I don’t like how sticky it is on my skin. Dasani, flavored water? Why does water need to be flavored? That’s not natural. This is too much. I don’t think I can go eat at a place if a freestyle machine is there. I can freestyle rap. Did you know that? Check this out:

My name is Trey,
my ex girlfriend is really a man,
so now I am technically gay,
I think should be a Justin Bieber fan

What do you think? Yep, I need adderall.

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