F.D.D. (Friendship Deficit Disorder) Feeling like you don’t have enough friends Feeling like you are unimportant without a crowd… …poor you You must be suffering from F.D.D. Friendship Deficit Disorder… …diagnosis in That’s when you are a bit too shallow To see, you’re friendships aren’t too deep… …dig deeper Get rid of all those unfaithful competitors Cure yourself with a few loyal friends… …deficit to surplus

"Shine, Baby, Shine!" I believe you got what those others lack Baby, shine, ‘cause you are just too fine Let that gossip roll off your back Nothing sticks to your kinda design Those others will try to get you off track But your appearance and personality combine For you I will pick up any, any slack And wait for you to send me a sign

21 st Century Problems: A.D.D. Strikes Again (#14)" There are 50 states that make up the United States. I am not sure how Puerto Rico and Washington DC fit into this…but sometimes both are considered the 51 st state. But I guess we kinda have 52 states. Can you imagine trying to get 52 people to agree on something. I can barely get 4 of my friends to agree on Whataburger or Canes. Canes usually wins because those succulent chicken fingers. They make me want to dance. They make me want to Harlem Shake…unfortunately I’ve never been to Harlem nor am I sure they like to shake. I did go to New York City one time and I took the subway to 42 nd street. I thought I was near Times Square, but actually I was in the Brooklyn, so the 42 nd street was different there. I am not sure there is 42 nd Street in Brooklyn actually. When I got off the subway with this random group of women, I was reminded of the Cosby show…not as classy as the Huxtables, but we can only strive to be ...

“Be Bold, But Not Too Bold, We’ve Got Plenty Time” You finally left that woman that used you for your money So now save your money for building your castle You can now laugh at the next crying foolish man with her   BE BOLD… …but not too bold You left So everything is on the right track for you right now You finally left that man that bruised your beautiful body Now you can apply your makeup with confidence and truth You beat that weak little man at his own mind games BE BOLD …but not too bold You left So everything is on the right track for you right now We’ve got plenty of time to find loving people who love us back

"A Sonnet to My Body" My brown eyes are like chocolate kisses in the June sun Melted milk chocolate with coconut or almonds They are almost as sweet as my Honey Buns (Google says no words rhyme with almonds) My sexy man-lingerie makes me giggle and sing My man lips could enflame The Human Torch I would let myself massage my toffee-colored man body like a king I’d fuck myself under the June moon on a manly porch If only I were a newborn house fly on my wall My compound eyes gaze at my naked hips as I lay Buzz, Buzz, Buzz, Buzz, I vainly call But I ignore myself, my wings stop, I die at the end of the day But like a zombie my man scent brings me back I find myself, I talk to me, and we fuck next to a bike rack As a matter of fact my body needs four more lines So, I look myself into my eyes and see all the glory And me and myself smoke a cigarette throwing away all my parking fines ‘Cause the future of my body is worth more...

“As a Teenager I Wanted to be the Ouachita River” As a teenager, it was the days I’d park my truck by Forsythe Park When I would go to the Ouachita River to sit on the banks I dreamed I would become that river because it flowed freely It rejected being stuck between the Twin Cities that didn’t get along There were days I wished I would fall into that observant River I’d float on down the river passing right under I-20 waving goodbye Mixing with the spirit of Arkansas transporting life further south Mostly dreaming of escaping the tight clutches of ignorance As an adult, I realized even more so the beauty of the Ouachita River It made see the true good-willed values of my very own home It was the energy in my home and others that the good in humanity resided The good energy of the Ouachita River was in many, many of our homes Even though the manipulative spirit of segregation lurked outside the home I realized that the Ouachita River glued...

"Oh Holy Lord" Holy, Holy, oh glorious lord deliver me from my atrocious errs unbind my soul from all offenses Blessed, Blessed, oh hallowed lord grant me answers to my prayers let me be your faithful witness Praise you, Praise you, oh sacred lord I come before u, humbled and desperate and beg to be near you in your lenity Gracious, Gracious, oh cherished lord give me wisdom to know my fate and accept my purpose with serenity

"Festival" Celebrating life Should be our number one priority Unless you are spiritual You only have one life to live When the Festival comes It’s our green light to be ourselves We forget our problems We forget our jobs And we live All of the people All of the music All of the food All of the excitement Off to the Festival To let go and have fun We are all friends at the Festival And I can't wait to see you there

"21 st Century Problems: Be Careful Who U Sext…I mean Text (#13)" So I meant to send this really naughty text message to Terry in hopes that maybe I could catch him at a weak moment and we make up (sexually) and Terry would be my FTM boyfriend again. This is the text message I sent: Are u feeling dirty? How bout a shower for 2 at my place 2night? I can work u out real good. Unfortunately, the text message went to my mother instead of Terry. Who responded: This is ur mother. Make sure u shower ur brain real good and watch the “send” button more closely. My game is off. I need those Justin Bieber dating videos to come in. ASAP.

"For Your Grace" I chose not to lead the way or be the focus of intent yet here I reside, all on display for all to see as I repent I cannot be a perfect spirit as long as I am bound in sin I hence feel I’m deemed unfit for a fight I can’t, alone, win I pray with passion to see a promising path of grace where my people can live free and our holy father, embrace Give me strength not to fall on grievous acts against you help me hear my lord’s next call and know your words, alone, are true I follow where you lead my heart I give myself to absorb your love and from evil, set myself apart I patiently await your guidance from above

"North Louisiana Has Parishes Too" “ Where you from? You don’t sound like you’re from ‘round here ,” the man from South Louisiana with his swampy accent asked me. I said in my country accent, “ Swartz. Outside of Monroe .” “ Ah, you’re a Yankee ,” he said to me. I strutted past the man and said: “ Last time I checked, North Louisiana had parishes too. So exactly what makes you more Louisianan than me? Last time I checked, I ain’t no Yankee. We celebrate Mardi Gras, we have spirituality, we have family values, we have crawfish, we are integrated in some areas and segregated in others. We study French, we hunt, we love to cook, and love our trucks. We make up words and put the emphasis on the wrong syllables, just like you. And we love our children no matter what they grow up to be. So, Mr. South Louisiana, how ‘bout you respect me and I respect you .”  The man from South Louisiana was my ally, but right now, he wasn’t my friend. I couldn’t be...

Trans             Upon meeting A young boy working at Wendy’s, taking orders and preparing food, you wouldn’t know from the smile on his face and warm greeting that he was suffering. He had GID (Gender Identity Disorder) along with an unrealistic knowledge of sex change operations. GID is a conflict between a person’s physical gender and the gender he or she identifies as (PubMed Health) . Being a male and identifying as a female was not easy for me. Looking down and seeing the wrong parts made me feel sad. I’ve been battling with my family, myself, and society over these feelings.             Feeling like a girl trapped in a boy’s body was something I could always relate to. Growing up, I was more attracted to dolls and dresses than footballs and jerseys. When I would think of my adult self, I would see a woman.   This led me to wonder about what it would b...

"Rising Hope" With my face in the ground despair had risen into me Losing hope, thinking I was bound I felt I did not have strength to be The wind then whistled a whispering sound I hold my breath and open my eyes to see My first glimpse of hope, winged and crowned stood before me and asked me not to flee Only then did I breathe a new scent darkness cleared and I stumbled not again I noticed soon, a light above, perfectly bent into my heart, I savored all the love within I looked upon another fallen face imprint covered him with lilies and saw his darkness thin When he began to rise, I felt I had been sent to relay a cherished hope, one day he would win

"Memory on the Horizon: A Different Depiction" Sushi for three On a Tree in school There are daring cops Who Teach Us About jumping off of the diving board Up the house from the Storm Comes marching down the hall everyday I sing a merry tune in my head to distract the negative Thoughts running through the mind while the words dance across the pages Sit there as blank as ever due to the block O’ cheese sent for Christmas Time is the time I used to enjoy but now has just become havoc Kids running amuck drive me insane to no end Of the street is where I get ice cream from Baskin Robins Chirp that joyful song that everyone knows Pokes out in front of my face to where I can’t see around it Never ends on the Merry Go Round The Mulberry Bush on Easter Sunday I go to Church and enjoy Passover The bread for I need to get fatter

"21 st Century Problems: A.D.D., Work, and Sh*t Part 2 (#12)" I feel like I was on a very, very long lunch break, but I took a shit and it cleared mind. Job #3: YoguLand Shift 2 (2:00 PM) “Do you have anymore hot fudge?” Someone was asking me a question, but I wasn’t paying attention. I am thinking about my life and how I feel like I need some sort of change. Maybe I should venture out from Michelle Branch. I need some new kind of music to inspire me. Hmmmm…..what could it be? “Hello! Are you listening to me?” the person continues talking to me, but I was distracted weighing pieces of Reese’s peanut butter cups. Who could be my new musical inspiration? Job #4: Hot Dogs (4:30 PM) Hot Dogs was pretty close to being the worst of jobs, but they paid well for me to stand on the side of the road in a Chihuahua costume holding a hot dog and waving. They claimed that this helped get them business for dinner, because they believed that people do...

"Fighting"  Through the calm of the midnight air I can feel the torture of faint whispering. Then soon the whispers develop a life of their own. The whispers become louder and I can feel that Something big is about to happen. Yes, it’s definitely a storm! And I anxiously sit and wait for the “main event” I’ve got front row seats from my front porch window. It’s the mighty oak trees fighting the wind, It’s the newly blossomed iris fighting for water, It’s the robin red-breasts fighting for its young, And it’s the swift current fighting the tides. I had never realized that fighting could be so silent. But I choose to fight for my life and yours loudly It’s the suffering of poor families fighting for food and shelter, It’s the innocent children kept alive; fighting to be killed slowly by politics, It’s the boy fighting to be a girl and the girl fighting to be a boy It’s the voiceless majority fighting to be heard I am ...

"7 Days in Hell" To Hell Is where I went when I was feeling Rejected, Infected, By the life I never asked for And the life those who judged me Said had no place in heaven The first day On the road to Hell Always seems glamorous But the glamour starts to fade By the end of the second day It’s the third day when most are captured When the hallucinations really take hold There is only a short window of time   In which one can travel down the multiple paths From Hell to Earth Most never make it back in time It only takes three days to be stuck in patterns, craziness Few, like myself, are able to navigate beyond the third day Between the realms of Earth and Hell The fourth day in hell Begins a deep period of paranoia and horror The fifth day in hell Is when isolation sets in and the deterioration begins By the sixth day in hell The reality of flesh is dying with the mind It is near a permanent state of miser...

"Embrace Insanity" Embracing insanity Won’t you come fly with me? I’ll show you who you never thought you could be Don’t listen to the sighs and cries Their resistance is no surprise Some just wait until the pretty flower dies Hold me close I’ll show you love the most I’ll move within you like a ghost Don’t be afraid of the night It holds all the light The soul within is bright The demons that we face Are meant for us to embrace Everything is in place There’s nothing to decide Nowhere to hide From the madness inside Accept the dark part of yourself I can touch that part of myself Here we are together, nowhere else It’s our fate To hallucinate In order to create

"Hiding Behind My Truth" Small talk Innocent chatter Idle gossip But the talk isn’t small The chatter isn’t innocent And the gossip isn’t idle We spend our lives talking, chatting and gossiping Always about others but seldom about ourselves What is so important about someone else’s life That we spend our valuable time Trying to tear them down? Are our lives so uneventful That we must dwell on others’ misfortune? All my life I’ve been taught to tell the truth. “The truth shall set you free!” Bullshit!!! The truth hurts And my heart aches When faced with my own demons. It is so much easier staying mired In small (not so small) talk In innocent (not so innocent) chatter In idle (not so idle) gossip. I find myself hiding Behind the things that matter most to me. I hide behind the fact that I am intelligent Yet allow others to make me feel stupid. I hide behind the fact I am deserving Yet allow others t...

"Change? What is This Thing?" Change, this thing, is coming It’s happening again And we don’t know this thing Politicians are setting the stage Loading guns instead of minds So we don’t know this thing Good and evil have aligned Everyone else in between How come we fear this thing? It’s the same battles With a different look I hope we learn this thing

Always appearing from the mist I was only made aware you exist From the drama suddenly around At the core of any fracture in unity found Let me address this situation real quick Your shallow attitude makes me sick My life decisions are not based on you I have too many substantive things to do I’m not worried about you or your mouth Your value as a valid voice is going south But we can still be cordial to each other I learned that good value from my mother As I positively pass you on the road to success You are held back by the negativity you possess

The Pebble and The Storm Our passion is our strength. [1] All the strength and force of man comes from his faith in things unseen . He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak. Strong convictions precede great actions. [2] Strength and wisdom are not opposing values. [3] The Wind: Flows ever so carelessly In an attempt to catch someone’s attention By bringing calmness to the mind In an attempt to strike the brain With Guidance. The mind is clearer when the thoughts are as well. Then, ideas form and creation is inevitable. It comes so naturally. The mind is strengthened and so is the heart. The Rock: an embodiment of the Earth And all that we stand on Giving us the power to feel mighty And not back down To challenges that might frighten us. Brittle but strong the rock is When something mightier comes along To erase the brain of all flow And ease. The Pebble: sits at the bed of ...