I guess I was at the point where I had the time to
pick up another job, considering my FTM transgendered boyfriend broke up with
me at Picadilly. I’m not good with being idle AT ALL. When I’m idle, I’m stuck
trying to figure out why I think the way I do and my thinking is always
distracted by my A.D.D. which is always an issue because I’m not really sure
that I always stay on target for what the point is of sharing my observations
about living in a world that makes sense and doesn’t make sense. See what I
mean? I’m supposed to be talking about why my 4-year Bachelor’s college in
General Studies (What the hell is that?) degree hasn’t paid off exactly the way
I want it. That’s why I’m working 5 jobs with a college degree. Did I mention I
have no health insurance?...So, I am basically desperate. I live in a country
that has convinced me that there
are no jobs around. Which is code for “jobs we don’t want to do.” So, I bit the
bullet and went to McDonald’s to apply for a manager’s position. Working in the
fast food industry is tough the days with all the menu options, health
awareness, and 24-hour service. Working in fast food would put me in a tight
spot being that they want me to be there 8-10 hours a day! That’s hard because
my jobs that I have currently are all designed around my A.D.D. I can only
maintain focus for so long on one task…So, I go in for the job interview. I am
immediately turned away because I don’t have a McDegree. “Generally” speaking, there
was no point really to this “general” rant like my college degree that makes me
feel “general.”
It’s forgettable- the number of times I was called a “fucking faggot” as a kid. As a former child of god, I wasn’t expected to know what those words meant. I was taught that repentance was vital to achieving everlasting life. My momma made me go to church every Sunday. I said my prayers as I was told. But I eventually learned that Catholicism was never my sanctuary. Christianity was never my safe-haven. God never stopped the cheap shots. He never once prevented the harassment or pure embarrassment that I felt from the words of my “kin in Christ.” Now, picture me- a helpless faggot, blinded by the incandescent lights of an old catholic church. I was home from college spending Spring Break in my former hellscape. So, naturally, my momma yet again made me go to church. This time, on a Wednesday. It was Ash Wednesday. When I was among the folks from home, I felt out of place. So much that I’d imagine camouflaging myself. Like saber-tooth in hiding. But the difference? I had a far mo...
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