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Don't Count Me Out (Louis Toliver Jr-Swartz, LA)


Nature throws a punch. It could be the effects of a choice I or someone else made. The winds gets knocked out of me. I fall in what seems like slow motion to the ground. I am disoriented. My head hits the ground and my body lightly bounces. My eyes shut.

10…9…8…

I can’t remember the last time I fell this hard. This fall seems harder than the last. I keep wondering if it is because of me or my environment. I wonder if my life is supposed to be spent fighting to be a hero or a victim.  I can’t see. I can’t open my eyes yet.

7…6…

The decisions I made are coming back to me, but I also remember the decisions of others that made me react negatively or positively. This was my moment to break the pattern of building myself up and tearing myself down. It was an endless cycle. My eyes open.

5…4…

Here I was laying on the ground. I was sick of falling. I was sick of hitting the bottom. I had to get up. I had to fight for stability. I needed to see.

3…2…

This was my moment to set the tone of my life as a fighter. I will no longer let my imagination suffocate my life. I with my eyes begin to rise up.

1…

Enough is enough. I stand up ready to fight. I throw my first punch and Nature is caught of guard. Nature didn’t expect me to fight back. Nature didn’t expect me to know when to do better. I make an ally with myself. My eyes are focused.

KO

I knock out Nature. The ref throws my arm with my eyes into the air. I win. I breathe heavy. It’s over and I now have control over things in life that I can control. I am now aware of the things I can’t control. I understand Nature better and also made an ally out of Nature. I won’t fall down again and I won’t hit the ground. I see clearly.

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