Hiding Behind My Truth (Ted A. Richard-Church Point, LA)

"Hiding Behind My Truth"

Small talk

Innocent chatter

Idle gossip

But the talk isn’t small

The chatter isn’t innocent

And the gossip isn’t idle

We spend our lives talking, chatting and gossiping

Always about others but seldom about ourselves

What is so important about someone else’s life

That we spend our valuable time

Trying to tear them down?

Are our lives so uneventful

That we must dwell on others’ misfortune?

All my life

I’ve been taught to tell the truth.

“The truth shall set you free!”

Bullshit!!!

The truth hurts

And my heart aches

When faced with my own demons.

It is so much easier staying mired

In small (not so small) talk

In innocent (not so innocent) chatter

In idle (not so idle) gossip.

I find myself hiding

Behind the things that matter most to me.

I hide behind the fact that I am intelligent

Yet allow others to make me feel stupid.

I hide behind the fact I am deserving

Yet allow others to destroy my worthiness.

I hide behind the fact that I live a life of achievement

Yet allow others to make my accomplishments seem insignificant.

And then a moment of clarity!!

When did “I” become one of the “others”?

When did I decide that my life isn’t better

Unless someone else’s life is worse?

I was drowning in a whirlpool

Where I couldn’t be “more than”

Until everyone else was “less than”.

Then there it was…

MY truth !!

Staring down into the depths

Of this swirling waterspout.

What the hell was it doing here?

And why?

I thought I had lost it

But there it was

MY truth !!

And it was all lies!!

I had convinced myself “I” was better than “them”

I had fooled myself into believing that if “they” were bad

Then “I” was better.

I had lured myself into a false sense of pride

Believing the lies I was telling myself.

All my life

I had been hiding behind my truth.

And it wasn’t until I was forced to be

Face to face

With the truth

As it ACTULLY is

That I fully comprehended that

My version of my truth

Was BULLSHIT !!

I had been dishonest with myself

And, in the process,

Made myself “less than”

By giving others the power to be “more than”

This life is so unfair,

But there is no referee

No umpire to fault those

I allowed to hurt me.

So I became a disciple of my own truth

And stopped hiding behind the truth that I knew

And started living the truth that actually IS !!

I became the truth that was buried in others’ lies

And the truth that sought my own destiny!!

They say “The truth will set you free!”

AND IT DID !!!

Comments

Ash Wednesday (Brian Falcon - New Orleans, LA)

It’s forgettable- the number of times I was called a “fucking faggot” as a kid. As a former child of god, I wasn’t expected to know what those words meant. I was taught that repentance was vital to achieving everlasting life. My momma made me go to church every Sunday. I said my prayers as I was told. But I eventually learned that Catholicism was never my sanctuary. Christianity was never my safe-haven. God never stopped the cheap shots. He never once prevented the harassment or pure embarrassment that I felt from the words of my “kin in Christ.” Now, picture me- a helpless faggot, blinded by the incandescent lights of an old catholic church. I was home from college spending Spring Break in my former hellscape. So, naturally, my momma yet again made me go to church. This time, on a Wednesday. It was Ash Wednesday. When I was among the folks from home, I felt out of place. So much that I’d imagine camouflaging myself. Like saber-tooth in hiding. But the difference? I had a far mo...

Louisiana Words Remembers Jorge Arturo

There’s nothing that hurts more than when we lose someone from our Louisiana Words family. But, the beauty of our writing movement is that the words of our loved ones live on with us. On June 20th, 2023, Louisiana Words Allstar, Jorge Arturo, moved on from this world leaving our hearts broken. He was a charismatic and talented human being. Jorge resided in New Orleans, LA and had been active on Louisiana Words for over a year. To honor Jorge’s life and work, we will be sharing his writing and live performances all Summer 2023. Please help keep his spirit alive by sharing his work. We know that Jorge’s words will connect with our readers and we hope to keep his spirit alive. Jorge’s first submission: “The Dog Show” debuted on February 6th, 2022 and is his most successful piece to date. In 2022, Jorge spent 10 weeks in the top with “The Dog Show,” “Weavers,” “They Say Love Kills, This Time It Really Did,” and “If Hell is Real, It Looks Like an Airport.” His la...

Nobody Said There'd Be a Day Like This (Sam Ray - New Orleans, LA)

I know how this should be: I've seen it, you see, In soap operas, Movies. Your eyes are closed, As if in sleep. Perfect peachy skin Atop a snow white pillow Under flawlessly matched sheets. The heart monitor, Quiet bleeps. The ventilator, A steady hiss. None of that is this. Your eyes Stuck open Seeing without sight Yellow sclera Dumb tears streaming. Tubes, taped to your face Delicate skin torn Where nurses Repositioned them To feed you To heal you You never liked being told What to do. Your whole torso spasms Spastic, Every 40 seconds. A machine Forces your lungs to act. Your hands are warm From hemodialysis But don't respond When we each grab one Give it a kiss. We spend the day Brushing your hair Telling stories Singing songs. Praying prayers. You're not there. Hospital staff Are more lovely If less pretty Than on TV. When the time comes They gently walk us From the room Close the curtai...

Search This Blog