21st Century Problems: There’s Always an App for It! (#17) (Louis Toliver Jr, Swartz, LA)

I was sitting around pondering my rushed makeover to look like Justin Bieber. I was having trouble trying to figure out who exactly I was. I needed advice. I took out my Iphone and decide to search some applications. I typed in “how to be yourself” and sure enough there was an app called the “How to Be Yourself App.” I clicked it and there were two versions. The trial version for free and the full version for $2.99. $2.99 cents is pretty steep for an application that I knew nothing about. Had it been just $0.99 cents, I might have been less hesitant. So, I downloaded the trial version and launched it when it was done. It welcomed me to the app and then “Welcome to Trial Version” popped on the screen and the “Tip One: Imitation is internal, not external” flashed. I wasn’t completely sure what this meant, so I clicked the “next” button. Then, “end of trial version” popped onto the screen and recommended I download the full version for $2.99. “Mother#*#*#*#*#*#*#*# this is some #*#*#*#*#*,”......I screamed in Korean.

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Ash Wednesday (Brian Falcon - New Orleans, LA)

It’s forgettable- the number of times I was called a “fucking faggot” as a kid. As a former child of god, I wasn’t expected to know what those words meant. I was taught that repentance was vital to achieving everlasting life. My momma made me go to church every Sunday. I said my prayers as I was told. But I eventually learned that Catholicism was never my sanctuary. Christianity was never my safe-haven. God never stopped the cheap shots. He never once prevented the harassment or pure embarrassment that I felt from the words of my “kin in Christ.” Now, picture me- a helpless faggot, blinded by the incandescent lights of an old catholic church. I was home from college spending Spring Break in my former hellscape. So, naturally, my momma yet again made me go to church. This time, on a Wednesday. It was Ash Wednesday. When I was among the folks from home, I felt out of place. So much that I’d imagine camouflaging myself. Like saber-tooth in hiding. But the difference? I had a far mo...

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