We weren’t lovers. We weren’t friends. Though we “tried” to
be. You knew that I was scared to stay with you. You knew I wanted to leave but
you convinced me to stay. You told me that we could make “us” work. I would do my
way and you would do your way. How could I have ever believe that mentality
would have ever lead down to the path of “us.” But, how can I blame you for
making me stay when I could have left? How could I blame you for my weakness
then, when I should thank you for my strength now? You were not really there
then and you are not really there now. I was just me "there," wherever I was. That is all that matters.
And I know that now.
I meant it not this way but the tears just flow and my makeup smearing all the more, leaving behind that familiar filthy residue. I may have begun to drive myself away, dragging you down as well. But it's done, I've flipped the switch and now it's dark once more. How painful is the music to my ears, I can't stand to be alone in it, yet here I am again. I pray you fly back and safely and warmly to me, though I fear I've dug the grave too deeply. As the dirt shifts within my soul, I choke on those loving words I'd meant for you. All the fragments of light I see becoming smaller and I wish to be near you in your embrace that might make me feel the warmth I'm missing. And in reality, I doubt I'd breathe another breath without you. So come hither and quickly soothe my dying heart, you are the only cure I know. I cry and cry again, come hither to heal and love me. Come hither and help me dry my tears.
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